At Jennifer's reception

BFFs at Whiskey River

My girls

Dad and me at Jen's wedding

Groomsmen & Gunner


THE DRESS is back

August 29, 2008...

Okay, so apparently I went on hiatus for the summer. Did you give up on me, Dana? Hope not...you are one of my three regular blog "subscribers". The last time we "talked" it was the beginning of June and Kristy just got married. Well, since then, Jolie and cousin Jennifer got hitched, I turned 33, Michael Phelps got a bazillion gold medals, Barack got the Democratic nomination, McCain chose Sarah Palin to be his running mate and, most importantly, I now officially have a part time bartending career. My parents are SO proud...just kidding.

Well I suppose I'll talk about McCain's VP pick since it just happened. "Little known" Sarah Palin has probably been Googled to within an inch of her cyberlife in the past half hour. Interesting choice on McCain's part. As interesting as Obama's Biden pick, I'd say. This election's gonna be a close one. I really don't feel like musing about the state of political things just yet...I'll see how everything unfolds in the next few weeks. I will say, though, that the fact that there is a black man running for prez, a female runner up that almost clinched the nomination and a female on another ticket means we are making some progress. Good for you, America. Finally practicing a little of what you preach. I will also say that it is funny that the city of Scranton has played such a role in the political rhetoric as of late. Chris Steel sent me an article about good 'ole Scranton and its emergence as THE pull yourself up by your bootstraps city. Check it out here.

I didn't watch much of the Olympics for some reason. Caught some of Michael Phelps' races. Amazing, of course. Oh and I saw that cute kid Shawn Johnson win the gold on beam. The closing ceremonies were really weird, no? A bazillion people in unitards weaving and waving everywhere. I was watching them in the bar I work at and another bartender, Brian, said, "Wow, look at ALL of those people. They could only pull a thing like this off in China." Love it.

I turned 33 in July and had one of the nicest birthdays ever. Dinner at the low key and lovely Dolcino and then drinks at the dive bar Whiskey River.Everyone mixed and mingled happily and without incident and I only had to walk a few blocks home to my bed. Heavenly!

Best wishes and congratulations to Jen and Mike and Jolie and Stephen, whose weddings I recently attended. They were gorgeous weddings! And I got a mini vacation out of Jolie's wedding, as it was in Block Island, RI. It was 4 days of cocktails, drinks on the beach, big beautiful old houses and breathtaking scenery. Good times. You can link to the full albums of the wedding pics I took at both weddings from the pics on this page. I can't possibly have any more family or friends planning to get hitched, can I? Why yes...I can! I have Melissa's wedding coming up in October, I am unfortunately missing Molly's Chicago wedding (also in October), Tim's Carribbean nuptuals are coming up soon and Stacey is threatening to tie the knot some time next year. And I suppose, Karen Bryden, that you'll be next. Oh and I can't forget YOU, Vicky...when are we headed to the cute little church in Darbbbbbyshiiire?

I officially have two shifts at Dram Shop in Park Slope now (Sundays 12-9 and Tuesdays 2-9). The vibe is great and the food is yummy (the burger made New York Magazine's Cheap Eatsissue), so if you haven't already visited (and thanks to those who made the trek out!) come on by.

Alrighty, that's the update. Time for me to eat something and watch the rest of my Damages episodes on Netflix. (You HAVE to check this show out...it's awesome.)

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Jen hearts Mike


Blushing bride Jolie


Jolie hearts Stephen

THE boys at my 33rd

Vicky & Paul at Jolie's reception

Jen poses with the Ross sisters


First dance

The happiest couple in the world

Posing with the newlyweds

Beautiful bride

Mother of the bride


Kristy's grand entrance


We don't look alike at all!

June 3, 2008...

Bored of those Nepal pics? I bet you are. It's almost been a month since I've written. Since we last spoke, much has happened in the world. Most importantly, the natural disasters that occurred in China and Myanmar highlighted humanity at its best and worst, with countries scrambling to help, and authoritarian regimes scrambling to hurt. It is most certainly true that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Speaking of power...it looks like Hillary is set to concede the Democratic nomination. How incredibly depressing for her. While I do like Obama, I will admit that I was excited at the prospect of having a female president. And, for the record, I do believe that Hillary has the skills and would've been a strong and intelligent leader. Well, there is always 2012 and in the meantime, having a well spoken, intelligent, young and idealistic leader isn't exactly a second best situation. Hopefully the fractured Dems can make nice so we can get him in. It will be thrilling to see our country close the door a bit on its racist and ethnocentric past and choose a black man to lead the country.

In the entertainment world, David Cook won American Idol. I said it before and I'll say it again (because I'm obnoxious like that), I picked him on Day 1. He was truly plucked from obscurity and deserves all the success I know he will achieve. Go David! Also, I saw the new Indiana Jones movie. I am a HUGE Indy fan as some of you know and I do have a detailed opinion about the flick, but I won't talk about it until Dana sees the film (she is also an Indy buff). I will say that The New Yorker had a review that was spot on in my opinion, so if you wanna know what I think, read this. I also saw What Happens in Vegas with Ellen because she loves Cameron Diaz and really really wanted to see it. Since I absolutely REFUSED to see Sex and the City with her, I thought I'd give in and go see what I thought would be a relatively lame movie. Surprisingly, it was cute and fun. I mean, it was a bit of fluff and the dialogue was junior varsity but Cameron and Ashton made it fun to watch. If you can get past the contrived plot and just enjoy the odd couple style interactions, it makes for a nice 2 hour brain vacation.

Moving on to musings on Kristy and Pete's beautiful wedding. It was last Monday and you can link to the full album from any of the pics on this page (yes, I wore THE dress AGAIN). The event took place at Oheka castle, this absolutely breathtaking venue in Cold Spring Hills on Long Island. (Apparently, the backstory goes that the Oheka guy was Jewish and none of the WASPS would let them into their country clubs so he built a HUMONGOUS "Screw you bastards" castle. Do correct me if I'm wrong, but I'd prefer that this story was true because it's funny.) Anyway, Kristy looked gorgeous and the weather was magnificent. Everything was very classy, right down to the very end, when Kristy gave her bouquet to the woman married for the longest time (over 55 years I think). That woman, of course, was her beautiful grandmother (wearing blue in the photo on this page). Twas a party out of a fairytale. The two newlyweds are in Hawaii right now. Hope you kids are having fun.

Oh...my cousin Nicole put my mother on Facebook! Hilarious. So please be Angela Joan Leo's friend. I'm sure she'll appreciate it. And if you haven't put Scrabulous or Scramble on your page, put it on already so we can play!

Almost forgot - I bar backed on Saturday at this cool place in Park Slope called the Dram Shop. It's co-owned by this great guy, Wade, who goes to clinics at the tennis company I work for. I told him I had absolutely no experience and he didn't bat an eye and said he'd rather train someone who really wanted to learn than hire an out-of-work actor type. Gotta love people like that. I wish there were more of them in the world.

Must go find some food now and prepare to go to my first Yankee game of the season. Babydaddies, look for me in the nosebleeds!

Oh and speaking of babydaddies - Gary Rake is a new one! Christy and Gary had a little girl (Connolly Aren Rake) on May 24th. Here is a pic! Congrats guys, she is beautiful.

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In love


Dancing with her Dad


Lord of the rings


Rickshaw at rest

Buddies

Trekking with Donna & Anna

Up close and personal


One of the many faces of Nepal


Hamming it up


Guess which one is Everest?


Sunrise over the Himalayas

May 7, 2008...

I’ve had three or four conversations recently that have all addressed the subject of the unnecessarily elusive nature of true happiness. One conversation had to do with the relativity of wealth, one had to do with achieving “success” by way of finding your passion and working towards it, one had to do with appreciating the simple things and one I just had with myself in the shower firming up all of these ideas. The last is why I am finally updating this website. I guess I need to blog to purge all of these thoughts weighing down my fragile brain - and to work out why I really needed to purchase Guitar Hero III at this point in time.

Yeah, so wealth is relative. We’ve heard it all before. Money isn’t everything. This is, of course, true. Having too much of it is not a good thing. However, not having enough of it is a problem, too. The answer is in having enough and knowing what to do with it. I was discussing my lack of greenbacks with Vicky over drinks last night (yes, my meager income does not preclude me from going to happy hour) and we were attempting to figure out ways for me to supplement said income. This led to a conversation about how much working for The Man sucks. But what to do otherwise? And where does a semi-confident, all-too-aware slacker come up with the motivation to figure it out? It all just seems so exhausting. Of course, if I was in complete dire straits, I would probably go work anywhere and everywhere. But, alas, I still have a warm bed, food in the refrigerator (peanut butter counts), and enough to cover the rent. This is pathetic, I know. Much of the world would kill to have such “problems”. Bottom line: I need a sense of urgency.

This brings me to the second conversation I had with my buddy Dustin - a highly energetic, go get ‘em guy with a great attitude. He shared a ton of good advice with me and spoke of setting goals and having a plan. He made good points. After I was finished hiding under the covers and being thoroughly terrified by these good points, I realized that what he was really saying to me was something he didn’t actually verbalize. Dustin may or may not have meant to make this point, but what I got from his words was that personal satisfaction and happiness wasn’t necessarily about knowing exactly where you were going, it was in the journey of trying to identify what you love and then trying to get there, taking care to stop along the way and smell the proverbial roses. This is a rather common thought that I generally espouse and blather on about to poor Ellen and Melissa ad nauseum, but often fail to put into practice.

Anyway, that thought led me to my last conversation with another friend, who lamented that gushing over an evening of Yankee baseball and corned beef and rye sandwiches made her a simpleton. I think, though, that she is incorrect. Dipping into my basket of cliché-but-true proverbs again – happiness is in the simple things. It’s all about the journey. So, I am not plodding along listlessly because I have no money. I have simply been too lazy to continue the journey. I’ve got the shoes for the job now, (not talking proverbs here – sneaks are called Vivo Barefoot and they ROCK! Read about them here or here) so I just gotta strap them on and get going. This is what I discussed with myself in the shower not 30 minutes ago.

One foot in front of the other begins now. Hold me to it, people. Hold me to it.

P.S. I would like to publicly welcome Violet Olivia Rosencrance into this crazy world. Violet was born March 26, 2008 at 10:07am. See picture below of her and her gorgeous sister. And the woman with the French martini? My fabulous Aunt Ev at Easter. Click the picture to see the full album.

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If looks could kill...


Hanging out in Pokhara


Up on the roof


Street scene


Confused monks

The sun's almost up in Dhampus

Post monsoon

The full monty


Jolie's Birthday Scavenger Hunt

Pretty Ali + pretty "grandmommy"

Melissa's Birthday

The fun continues...


Vicky at Nicho's masquerade party


Pre masquerade


Best present ever!


Nicole's birthday dinner


THE picture, revisited

February 18, 2008...

Wow...it has been over 2 months since I have written. Thanks to those who were asking for an update - it's very sweet of you to indulge me. As usual, I feel like I've been busy, but I am not sure what I've been busy doing, since I've technically been unemployed since September. Brides mag has been there to back me up, though...Sally and Nancy keep me clothed and fed, so that's nice. I've also decided to get serious about my "future" as a tennis pro. That's tennis teacher, to the uninformed...I won't be playing tournaments any time soon. We all know how crappy I am as a competitor. At this point, I would need a mental health professional on the sidelines of each of my matches to make it through. Anyway, I dipped a toe into the tennis teaching waters, and they turned out to be more of a murky swamp, so I'm trudging through and figuring out how to keep the ball rolling (pun intended because I am LAME) whilst attempting to come up with the rent.

Speaking of rent, most of you know that dear Melissa is moving out of her palacial room come May 31st, so Ellen and I need a new roommate. If you know of anyone looking for a room, let me know and I'll forward you all the info.

Alrighty, so, the pictures that are up are from a variety of events that have taken place since December. First up was Nicho's masquerade party at The National Arts Club. 'Twas a rather interesting few hours. Vic and I chatted it up with the most eclectic group of people ever, including some hosts of Antique Roadshow. Typically, I didn't know they were the hosts at the time and lord knows what I said to them because of the CHAMPAGNE. Couldn't have been that bad...could it have?

Next up - pics from Victoria's birthday bash. Sushi at Natori and then on to some bar that we can never remember the name of. It was the usual crew of old friends, new friends and ex-boyfriends getting along like a wonderfully dysfunctional family.

There are also pictures from Jolie's scavenger hunt birthday party. I've included a link, but if you weren't there, it won't make much sense, as most of the pics are 'items' that were on the list.

Next are pictures from the world famous Leo Christmas Eve party. I think they pretty much speak for themselves.

Melissa's birthday celebration was in January. We had hors d'...oh I can't spell it...ahem... appetizers at the apartment with the brother house and then we went to Vig 27 for martinis and some Michael Jackson. Somehow we ended up at godforsaken Whiskey River and proceeded to get our dance on BIG TIME. (The air guitar was unleashed.) Before we knew it, it was 4am. Good times.

Cousin Nicole's birthday was up next. After dinner we piled into cars and headed back to Nic and Kev's apartment. Unfortunately, Nicole did not suck in the helium from her balloon and sing the national anthem as she normally does in car rides after parties. Too bad. Next time, pickle...next time.

Kristy's bridal shower in Long Island City was last weekend. It was a very classy affair and the food was excellent. I was stuck walking around with two serving spoons for the rest of my night out, however. The softball girls were amused and confused about this and Stacey and Todd were in town so Stacey has all the pics of the offending utensils. Perhaps one day I shall see them. Ahem, M. Stace....

Last but not least are a few pics from Angie's birthday dinner last Tuesday. She loaded up on the white zin and we all had a fabulous time as the snow fell outside and we watched 20 cops descend upon an allegedly stolen vehicle. Gotta love New York. Hope you all are well.

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Celebrating Vicky's birthday


Maceo goes out for sushi


Kristy and Irene at the shower


"Entertaining" the Xmas troops


Me and my boys


Vicky hearts Billy

Faye and Sal break it down

Mom and me

Mom's birthday dinner


Pickle and her holiday magnum

Ganging up on Gretchen

Out with the brother house

Happy birthday, Maddison!

At The SKINnY


Visiting M. Stace


Angels


One third of my softball team


Angie vs. Brian

December 10, 2007...

Hello, pretty people! It has been a while. I’ve got some new pics for ya! Visited Dana, Seth and cutie Cece in the beginning of November and got to see Kate and her two beauties, Quinn and Annie, as well. They await their newest playmate – Dana’s 2nd – who is going to be a GIRL! Poor Seth and Marty will have their hands full. HAHA! 4 smart, intelligent, headstrong girlies. Good luck, boys. As Dana pointed out, between her 2 girls, Kate’s 2 girls, Mia, Mallory and Angela, I almost have an entire softball team! We’ll start batting tee practice once they all hit the 4 or 5 mark.

November 16th was my annual visit to Washington D.C. to hang out with the current class/alumni from my favorite political science prof’s European Union simulation seminar. It culminates in a mock EU parliament thingy in DC (not surprisingly, I wasn’t the most eloquent one in my group back in ’97). I’ll admit that getting drunk with an ex-professor and a bunch of 21-year-old Scranton students is something I look forward to every year. (Yes, I am truly a huge dork, but I think most of you know that.) The bonus is that I get to stay with my friend and college roommate M. Stacey Bach and she thankfully crashes the party. This year I had a nasty sinus infection but still managed a good time. Especially memorable was a dinner with Stacey and her boyfriend, Todd, where Stacey quizzed a scientist (who studied sleep patterns) from the Walter Reed medical center about the military applications for sleep deprivation. He got a tad uncomfortable. Flying to and from DC was a pain in the ass, though. I had an 8-hour delay going and a 4-hour delay coming back. Because of my infection, I kept getting that throat tickle. You know the tickle I’m talking about? The one where you feel like there is an oil slick on the back of your throat and you can’t get rid of it and then you start coughing uncontrollably and your eyes and nose start running?! It’s really horrible…and embarrassing when you don’t have a tissue! But I digress…

Spent Thanksgiving at my Aunt Ev’s house. ‘Twas a good time, as per usual. We ate, we drank, we drank… we pranked Nic’s cousin Jeannie (who lives next door) by rearranging all of her backyard furniture... (yes, we are all equally immature and proud of it)… Brian the walking hangover took a two hour nap in the backyard…etc. The evening culminated in some sort of dice game and then my kind parents drove me and my lingering infection back into the city. The pictures tell the story a bit better, I’m sure.

Went up to northeastern Pennsylvania with college friend Chris to reunite with our long lost favorites – Ellen and Ollie and their family. The last time I saw their daughter Sierra, she was about 3 years old, so it was a shock to see an 11-year-old ‘tween greet us at the car! I am getting SO old. It was amazing to see them all again.

Brides magazine has been keeping me afloat with various assignments, so jobwise, that’s what’s been going on. I’m pretty sure I know everything there is to know about wedding cakes at this point, so if you have any questions…

Partied it up in Astoria Friday night with Nicole, Kevin and friends at some place called Central. Before we got there, Kevin handed me a joystick (I’m pretty sure I called it a joypad at one point…!?) and taught me how to kill terrorists with AK-47s and rifles in some Playstation game. (GW would be so proud.) I was having heart palpitations by the time I left. I don’t do well with these ‘newfangled’ video games where you have to look BEHIND you! WTF?! Mario and Luigi couldn’t go backwards! It’s all too much. I miss pong. I might want a Wii though, but Victoria says if I get one, I’ll never leave the house. I am sure she is correct, as I have a hard enough time tearing myself away from Tetris. I am truly the queen of mindless pursuits. Digressing again. Anyway, we met them all at the bar for a Toys for Tots fundraiser and we ended up dancing until 3:30am. Kevin, Nicole and I then scarfed down 2 servings of souvlaki each. We got the food from a street vendor and thankfully the street meat did not give us food poisoning and/or a parasite. Close one.

This past Saturday I journeyed to Little Neck for my Godchild Maddison’s 1st birthday. The last time I saw her she was practically a newborn, so it was cool to get to know her little (nay, BIG) personality! Maddison knows what she wants and doesn’t take crap from anyone. Her rambunctious cousins were all up in her grill, but she was having none of it! Love it. Simone, if you are reading this (you crazy voyeur, you), she is a beauty and I had a great time seeing all of you. I have this strange ringing in my ear, though…it sounds like someone screaming at a high pitch…wait, no…it’s someone saying a name…two names! It’s, “ERIC AND JAKE! JAKE! ERIC! ERIC AND JAKE!” Make it stop! :)

p.s.Our friend Ethan’s newest band is getting some great press. If you haven’t already, check them out at myspace.com/thegreyraceband. And they’re going to be at Arlene's Grocery on Wednesday night.

p.s.s.Shout out to the brother house! Ellen, Melissa and I enjoyed some Ms. Pac Man at one of BFF’s fave’s - The SKINnY- with Brad, Schwabe and Jeff last week.

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Baby sister's on the way!


Contemplating the past year


Love me some Danny ears


Dad and me


Post tacos


Love-a-lot meets Shoot-a-lot

Care Bears!

Hanging with Josh

Let's go Jets!

The cutest Minnie girl


Howdy


Partying in Pelham

November 7, 2007...

How is everyone's November going? More importantly, how was everyone's Halloween? Halloween is one of my favorite holidays because (and I've said this to many of you already) A. it is not religiously affiliated B. it doesn't include traveling far or buying gifts that people don't really like anyway and C. you get to dress up. This year, my roommates Ellen and Melissa and I went as gunslingers. The jury is out on whether they were outlaws and I was a sheriff or if they were my deputies. They looked pretty bad ass, so I'm gonna go with outlaws. One thing that we were NOT - cowgirls. Between our Care Bear friends getting all of the attention with their adorable costumes (you guys really did look awesome!) and people mistaking us for cowgirls, I decided that this would be the last year for the gunslinger costume. Alright, maybe I won't retire it completely...I mean, I did risk my life painting one hell of a toy gun (see pic in album). (The label actually said this: "This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.") Yikes! I wore a mask thingy when I used it but geez. And why is it that this chemical is only known to cause Cancer in the State of California...and...why is State capitalized in the phrase 'State of California'. Phew. I'm out of breath (and out of my mind). Back to my original point: Halloween rocked. Melissa, Ellen, Jeff, Paul, Brad, Geoff and I went on quite the mini bar crawl. I can't remember exactly where we went. Wait, let me tax the memory and try...nope...nothing is coming. Oh wait...It's coming to me (well, Ellen's shouting out the names of the bars from the other room). We went to Sweet and Vicious, Bleecker Street Bar, Swift and Crime Scene.

Saturday night was Sally's party in Pelham in celebration of Lindsay and Matt's new marriage. The party got a little crazy when Nancy Lou's 8-year-old son, Matthew, started playing the alphabet game with world countries. Lindsay, Nancy and I played until the bitter Z's. I do recall idiotically shouting out Hawaii for the H's, but I seem to recall someone else...ahem, Sarah...yelling out Georgia for the G's. Of course Georgia IS an actual country and Sarah will no doubt say that the country bordered by Russia, Turkey, Armenia and Azerbaijan is the land she was speaking of. What I have to say to that is nu-uh...and WHATever! Brides magazine's entire staff enjoyed the free-flowing wine and champagne (ahhh!), as well as Sally's homemade pigs-in-a-blanket and other yummy edibles. Ellen and I were practically the last to leave (there was still champagne left) and we ended up getting a ride home from Lindsay and Matt. Matt, incidentally, is an amazing shoe designer. Check out his stuff at MattBernson.com.

Sunday I went to the Jets game, courtesy of Jenny's unused tickets and Vicky's invite. Vicky and I tailgated with Josh and his friends and I ended up doing something not-so-fun to my right pointer finger. It was sort of jammed but now feels very odd around the joint. I'm going to my somewhat inept doctor for a physical tomorrow, so I'll throw the finger issue into the mix. Of course, she'll probably stare at me blankly, ask how my tonsils are and bust out a medical book before diagnosing me. (Don't worry, tomorrow is my last visit with this doc. I'm going to get my medical records while I'm there and find someone who knows what they are doing.) Wow, tangents galore in this blog entry...sorry. Back to the Jets game. They were winning the whole time and then lost in overtime. Tragic, but I had a good time just the same and Jenny's seats were excellent. Thanks for the invite, Victoi.

Caught up with my old college friend Tim last night. He actually reads these blogs, so HOLLLLLA, TIM! Was great to see him and reminisce about our old times. at 'da U'. (Yes, Dana...it should be 'da Ule tide' on that invite. Eeeeediots.)

Was planning a busy day of going to the movies today, but instead, I edited and downloaded all of the pictures you see here, et. al., kind of watched You've Got Mail for the 97th time, made an appointment to get the milk and honey pedicure Ellen got me for my birthday from Jin Soon (it was in July, of course, but some issues arose with the toenails on the fourth toe of both of my feet and said issues have only recently been resolved...TMI?)and cooked myself up some garlic pasta. So, you see, I had quite a busy day doing useless things yet again. It's going to be very difficult for me to get back into the whole having a job/purpose thing again.

Tomorrow I am not going to the doc until 3pm and I'm supposed to fast for 8 hours beforehand. Dang! So that means I can't eat from 7am-3pm. Poor planning on my part, but I have to get the stupid physical and I don't wanna go just for this finger thing, because what if there is nothing really wrong with the finger (I'm typing with it now...can't be broken, right?) and then I'm just a loser hypochondriac. Alrighty...this blog is an out of control babblefest. Must. End. It. Now.

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Watch your backs...


Girls with guns


Goofing off at Sally's


Kevin hearts Gus!


Nice presentation, Geigers


Carol presents our whiffleball T's


Mike pops it up

October 27, 2007...

It’s Saturday morning and I just debated on whether or not I was going to stay in bed longer for about an hour. I did the same thing yesterday. Pathetic. It’s 10:35am, however, so I guess by many more motivated people’s standards, I DID stay in bed. Yesterday, the dilemma was tougher. I had nothing to do for most of the day and was snug in my covers with a cool breeze blowing and a cat snuggled up next to me so, despite fully waking up at 7am, I folded into numerous variations of the fetal position and laid still until about 9am, willing myself to be tired again, because I was so comfortable. I didn’t fall back asleep until 10am and what ensued after that was just wrong. Odd dreams, overheating…basic discomfort. Should have gotten up at 7am. But then what would I have done? Oh, yeah… maybe I could’ve gone to yoga, or bought that gift I need to buy, or looked for a JOB, or starting writing that next screenplay…hell, I could’ve practiced my drums (I’m taking those lessons that I can’t afford NOW, of course). Unfortunately, I did none of those things. As I’ve lamented to numerous friends – if I have nothing to do, I don’t do anything. I seem to do my best work (well, work in general) when I’m under pressure.

My compromise with myself this a.m. was that I’d get up and write a blog. Whatever works, right? Let’s recap what’s been going on. (I literally just had to look in my datebook to see what’s been going on…OMG, the memory – SHOT. The evil virus I had in July has eaten away at my hippocampus and the working memory…fughettaboutit. Ask me what I did last Thursday…I won’t be able to tell you.) But anyway… Went to a Brides event at the beginning of the month. It was a lavish affair to celebrate their “Something Pink” breast cancer awareness campaign. Very unfortunately, they were serving champagne, so 4 glasses and 4.2 miniscule hors d’oeuvres later, I found myself in another bar with a 50-something Conde Nast corporate VP, talking about…well, that’s the problem…except for him telling me he was from Detroit, I can’t remember what we talked about. I remember everything but the words. I can replay it like a silent movie in my head. Bizarre. Came home, got ready for bed and 15 minutes later decided I couldn’t find my clothes (yes, the ones I had just taken off). It freaked me out to such a degree that I wandered into Ellen’s room, curled up under her covers and said, pitifully, “Ellen, my clothes are missing.” The poor girl had to wake up to do a Bridal event on Good Morning America in, like, 2 hours and there was crazy old champagne head waking her up because her clothes were “missing.” (I think I’m revealing this highly embarrassing turn of events as penance or something.) The clothes, incidentally, were in my room, under a pile of other clothes on my chair. Thank God for Ellen, or I might have driven myself insane, because while I couldn’t find my shirt or pants, the pink silk tie that I had been wearing was hanging on my drawer handle, taunting me. I remember wondering (briefly, I swear!) if I came home wearing just a tie. Champagne will do that to you…well, to me…it seems. Went to see Brandi Carlile at Irving Plaza the next night after surviving a hangover that rivaled one from my grad school days in Scotland. She didn’t disappoint.

Some other updates:

The Yankees lost, as everyone knows, and Joe Torre won’t be returning to manage the team. I will miss dear Joe, but I don’t blame him for turning down the contract. I don’t care what mini-Steinbrenner thinks, it was an insulting set of terms. One year!? Come ON. So, every year the poor guy is on probation? That kind of stress takes a toll on a 67-year-old heart! Anyway, goodbye Joe…I don’t know how baby daddy and I will fare without you, but we’ll keep our heads up for the good of the team. P.S. GO ROCKIES!

I said goodbye to Donna and Anna as they left for their world tour. Ladies, if you are reading, I miss you already, and please send updates! I’m hoping to join them in Nepal in the spring, if I can afford the crazy airfare.

Mike McDonough and I (Team Sunblock) were crushed at the annual Oradell Whiffleball tournament. We’ll get ‘em next year, Mike. We have to staff up our bullpen, I think. Do you think Angela is ready?

Nicole now owns the cat that she was desperately trying to give away. Gustav has found a home on the upper east side and has promptly fallen in love with Kevin. Nicole is pretending that she doesn’t care, but really she is incredibly jealous. Sorry Nic! Thanks for dinner the other night, Geigers – and for getting my ride home. Next time I will bring better cheese, for sure.

Okay, now I must play one game of speed Tetris, one game of Travel IQ (I know where Eritrea is now!) and one game of Scrabble. I figure that while I am wasting my early 30s, I’ll make an attempt to stave off my brain corrosion. Hey! Does that count as multi-tasking? Is there hope for me after all?!

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Yep, they beat us, too...


Team Awesome's reign is now over!


The future of Team Sunblock


Just try and stop me from using Kraft singles!


recommended...


Pre-reception antics

Family matters

Alexis grooves

Last minute touch-up

Graeme made it!


Nic and pretty barmaids


Handsome lads, unite!


His first baseball game ever!

October 1, 2007...

October is here! My cousin got married, the Yankees are in the playoffs and I'm unemployed. Those first two things = very nice. That last one, well...I've been in this position before, so I have faith that something will come along. I have a couple of full-time job possibilities that I'm pursuing...we'll see what happens. This isn't going to be a long blog entry because I'm tired and still not feeling too well. I just wanted to check in and show you guys some wedding pics. Nicole looked gorgeous and Kevin looked dapper and smiley, as per usual. The wedding was way classy...minus my speech and a few lemon drop shots (you can take a girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl.) I couldn't breathe in the dress, but managed to dance into the night anyway. Graeme twirled in his kilt happily, masking the fact that he had only recently survived a 12-hour attack of food poisoning and Brian donned his Ray Bans and did his best Donnie- Brasco-does-disco impression. You can see by the pictures that everyone was in fabulous spirits.

Condolences to all of you Mets fans...that was a harsh way to end an otherwise stellar season. But I do have to say congrats to you Phillies fans. Dana and Seth, sorry you didn't make the game, but missing the Phils making the playoffs for the first time since '93 will be no big deal once Cece scores that modeling contract for The Gap. That newfound pucker lip will pay for season tickets sometime in the future, I'm sure.

Last Monday I got to go to Melissa Etheridge's CD release concert at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square, thanks to Jen. The concert was great, but I think I had more fun watching Al and Tipper Gore bobbing their heads and rocking out in the corner. I left the concert inspired - I think I really WILL take those drum lessons I've been thinking about! Speaking of amazing drummers, Vicky and I recently went to see Ethan's new band, The Grey Race. We were very impressed. Check them out.

Hmmm... what else? Oh, Ellen has recruited me for some craziness on Thursday morning at Good Morning America, so look for me lugging around some wedding dress in the studio audience. I have no idea what it is all about, but I am sure it will be amusing. I think that's all the update I have for now...so much for a "short" entry. I do ramble on.

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Like fatha, like dawta


Cream soda to the rescue!


Glamorous


Last home game


Melissa's CD release


Pre-champagne


Jeannie made us wear them


Still standing

September 13, 2007...

The curiously debilitating virus is back. I am a little under the weather these fine days. I went to my brilliant doctor yesterday and when she entered the room she said, "Tonsils again, huh?" I said, "Tongue, actually." She then looked at me like she might actually remember who I was and quickly said, "Oh, sorry! That was the message I got...tonsils." Then she shifted her attention to the computer and began typing nervously. Sigh. Anyway, she gave me meds and hopefully they'll help make me human again. I'm so tired of being sick. I've turned myself into a heroine from the Victorian era in my own mind...I'm that tragic pale character with the fragile bones and the "weak constitution."

I'm done with Bloomingdale's, so I'm sitting at home right now killing time while waiting for Fresh Direct to arrive with my food (I have the 10am-Noon timeslot). I have a meeting at Martha Stewart to discuss a more permanent position at 2pm and I was hoping to be in the shower by now. But, of course, if there is a time window for delivery, the guy never fails to show up at the last possible minute. Of course, if I went to take a shower right now he'd be on my doorstep before I got all the conditioner out of my hair.

My Yankees have won 7 in a row, if you care to know. They've got one more game against the Blue Jays tonight and then a series with Boston this weekend. The boys are very close to taking their rightful place at the top of the AL East. Poor babydaddy's got a sore knee, though...keep him in your thoughts.

The pics on the page today are from my cousin Nicole's recent bachelorette party. The evening started off poorly, as the people at Vento were unable to seat us because the large party that was seated at the earlier time refused to leave. We waited an hour or more past our reservation time. The manager and his crew kissed our asses and plied us with champagne, so by the time we sat down to eat, we were pretty drunk and the slightly older crowd was starting to fall asleep. Everyone livened up when we went to Culture Club, though. It was about a thousand degrees inside and the music was so loud that my ears are still ringing, but it was an excellent time. I was initially mortified that I had to wear the "Maid of Honor" tiara that Jeannie handed to me, but as you can see, it apparently grew on me, as I kept it on the entire night. Judging from the pictures, I think it's safe to say Nic had a good time.

It's 11:59am now and Fresh Direct is nowhere in sight. Typical.

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Yucking it up at Culture Club


Still dancing


Hot rock


Reunited with Wilson!

Sisters

Doing the Richard Nixon?

Representing Canada

Sean and Claude


In Babydaddy's hallowed house


Trouble

September 3, 2007...

Wow...not ONE entry in August! I'm losing my edge. Tim's back from Ireland with a Dr. Phil addiction. We'll be sending him to the "Promises, promises..." rehab facility in Flushing, Queens. (Not to be confused with the "Promises" center in Malibu.) Maybe we'll wean you off of Dr. Phil with some Oprah...we'll call it MethodO. Yeah.

So, since we last spoke, I've experienced AUGUST. The month proved quite challenging. I was still a little worse for the wear from my 3 week illness, so I had limited energy...plus, to add injury to insult - a strained rotator cuff. Work has been over-the-top ridiculous and I have stricken Bloomingdale's from my record of employment. Yes, if you haven't already heard, I quit. Well, technically they wanted to get rid of me because I refused the full-time position, but they don't have my replacement yet. I decided I wanted to break up with them first...I do have my giant ego to consider. My small wallet laments its second place finish, as always.

Went to the Ellen Degeneres Show season premiere on Friday. They filmed it in the Allen room in the Time Warner building. Special thanks to Gara for telling me the link for tix was up on her site! Ellen was fabulous, as always, and she had my fave, Robin Roberts, on the show. Faith Hill belted out some tunes and looked damn good for almost 40 (or any age, really) and Ellen and I got to sit in the second row. (They split us up from Chris and Jonathan...sorry guys!!) Anyway, the show airs this Wednesday, so check it out and look for red pigtails.

My Yankees have been up and down lately, but let us focus on one big positive - we swept the Red Sox! Yeah baby!!! I got to go to the game, courtesy of Kevin. My first Bosox/Yankee game and I was not disappointed. I couldn't figure out why I was so drunk after only a couple innings until I noticed that the cup I was drinking out of was basically the size of a child's sand pail. The fact that I had to use two hands to lift the damn thing should of clued me in but, alas, it did not.

Went up to Pennsylvania with my mom, Aunt and cousin. We relaxed, Angie sucked down white zinfandel, Aunt Evie tanned and Nicole terrified me with tales of ghosts appearing to all those who are awake in the 3am-4am hour (every morning this happens, apparently). In between, we attempted various home improvements: removing and replacing shower heads, observing the electrical innards of the water heater (no hot water) and mopping up soap suds from the dishwasher (um, don't use regular dishwasher detergent in the dishwasher...yeah, it was my idea. Batting about .127 these days)... All in all it was a great weekend. Melissa (a.k.a. Wilson) joined us for dinner on the Saturday night, shuttled us home in her death cab and then stayed over (incidentally, Melissa, your dad's suggestion to turn the water heater off and on ended up working, so thanks!) I arrived home 4 button-down shirts the richer. That makes 6 button-down shirts (wait, is it buttoned-down or button-down?) purchased in about 4 weeks. Yikes. I think it's turning into an addiction. Timmy, hold the 7-train...I'm coming with you to Flushing.

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Booked on the Ellen show


Accomplices


Titans finish 2nd in league!


Bloomies in da house


Smiley faces


Mystery guest, Tim Lewis


Engrossed in conversation


recommended...

July 28, 2007...

Hello. Happy Saturday. How is everyone? Last we "spoke", I was complaining about the 8th worst movie ever: Paycheck. Well, I think I may have seen the 3rd worst movie ever the other night: Because I Said So. All I have to say is, O.M.G. I would say more, but in the interest of efficient communication (not something I'm known for), I'll just leave you the spot on review from Salon.com.

I turned 32 last week, so that's that. The pics on this page are from this past Tuesday's belated celebration at the fabulously divey Whiskey River. Twas a good time. My friends from Bloomingdale's stopped by, softball Titans were there, the boys from the Lower East represented and Ellen, Tim, Melissa, la Victoria, Alexis, Dan "The Lance" Armstrong, Future President Steele, Christy, Gary, Josh, Ryan, Jonathan, Kristy, Pete, Lasley and Frenchie enjoyed cheap beer out of plastic cups as well. I hope I'm not forgetting anyone! Alexis brought me this great book:No one belongs here more than you. Stories by Miranda July. You guys have to read it. It's so good that I'm going to excerpt a bit here:

I asked Vincent more questions, and his answers became longer and longer until they hit a kind of cruising altitude and I didn't have to ask, he just orated. It was unexpected, like suddenly finding oneself at work on a weekend. What was I doing here? Where was my Roman Holiday? My American in Paris? This was just more of the same, an American in America. Finally he paused and squinted up at the sky, and I guessed he was constructing the perfect question for me, a fantastic question that I would have to rise up to, drawing from everything I knew about myself and mythology and this black earth. But he was pausing only to emphasize what he was saying about how the cover design was not actually his fault, and then at last he did ask me something; he asked, Did I think it was his fault, you know, based on everything he had just told me? I looked at the sky just to see what it felt like. I pretended I was pausing before telling him about the secret feeling of joy I hide in my chest, waiting, waiting, waiting for someone to notice that I rise each morning, seemingly with nothing to live for, but I do rise, and it is only because of this secret joy, God's love, in my chest. I looked down from the sky and into his eyes and I said, It wasn't your fault. I excused him for the cover and for everything else. We fell into silence then; he did not ask me any more questions. I was still happy to sit there beside him, but that is only because I have very, very low expectation of most people, and he had now become Most People.

Like it? She's so quirky. Darker than David Sedaris, but just as funny.

So I had a Titans softball game on Thursday and pitched so badly that I had to be taken out of the game in the third inning! Yikes. It was rather depressing. The good news was that the rest of the team played amazingly and we won 5-3, preserving our second place status in the league. I attempted to play a game with Bloomingdale's today and we ended up getting screwed somehow and didn't really get to play because of some scheduling conflict. We did get to scrimmage a little, but again, I played like crap and during practice beforehand, I couldn't throw the ball straight to save my life. I was freaking out because throwing a ball is like walking to me and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I couldn't do it. I've decided, of course, that this is due to some horrific neurological disorder. (I'm getting very paranoid in my old age.) Well, I've got a ton of softball games coming up, we'll see if I improve or if I have some sort of sports-themed nervous breakdown in the next few weeks.

In other news, Vicky and I have discovered a GEM of a hang out in our local Italian restaurantDolcino. We hate going out in NYC on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturday nights because the city is packed with annoying, loud, scantily clad girls and guys doused with cologne, so we are constantly looking for some out of the way place that we can call our own. We found it! This place is perfect. The food is good, the service is better, the owner is personable and tonight we met the coolest 84-year-old actor named Tony Rigo, who was born and raised in the apartment building right next store to the restaurant. Tony bought us coffee and dessert and entertained us with snappy one-liners and tales from his very interesting life. Vicky and I had already decided we'd frequent Dolcino more often after our first visit and now, after meeting Tony, you can bet you are going to find us there most Friday nights.

Tomorrow is our family friend's engagement party and Sunday I'm going with Barrie, Bill and Will to a Brooklyn Cyclones game in Coney Island. Should be a fun-packed weekend. I'm done with all of the Brides articles so I can actually enjoy myself without worrying about work! Sweet.

Oh, I almost forgot...took my mom to see Josh Groban on Wednesday night and, believe it or not, I had the best time ever. The guy puts on one hell of a show and his lead violinist (he had a mini orchestra on stage!), Lucia Micarelli, was AMAZING. Check out her CD.

Annnnyway, it's after 1am and I need my sleep, as I am still not completely well and, as I've explained/complained, my neurological impulses are all kinds of screwed up. Going to call it a night. Have a great weekend, people!

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Lance Armstrong stopped by


Los tres amigos


Darryl serves em up


Sky Advertising girls reunited


San Francisco, represent!


Cece is 1!

Celebrating Elzer

Ain't no party like a Scranton party...

Jason visits!

Nicole gets her tea party


Will turns 2!


10 years later


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July 15, 2007...
I'm alive. Just barely. As most of you know, I've been out of commission for the better part of 2 and a half weeks. It hasn't been pretty. It's still difficult for me to engage in any kind of prolonged activity and I've become a bit of a shut in, so I'm trying to get outside a bit and reacquaint myself with reality. It's amazing what two weeks passed out on a couch will do to your psyche. I'm downing Ensure drinks like an 85-year-old and have decided I might just continue to do so - it's easier than making myself breakfast. Bring on the potassium! Bring on the selenium! (I don't know what selenium is, but it sounds hard core.) Ahh, Ensure...a few sips and all your nutritional needs are taken care of! (P.S. I'm going shopping for a tricked out walker on Wednesday if anyone wants to join.)

Yeah, so...the fact that I've been so sick really doesn't completely excuse me from the fact that I haven't blogged since May 17th or whatever. I've been stressed out and busy...those are my lame excuses. The pics on here are from a variety of events. We forced Ellen to have dinner and a candlelit soufflé to celebrate her 30 years, Jason landed in NYC for the long Memorial Day weekend, I went to my 10-year college reunion, Cece turned the big O-N-E, Will celebrated his 2nd year on the planet and we actually succeeded in surprising Nicole with an afternoon tea party/bridal shower.

I would elaborate more, but I have a Brides assignment I have to take care of tomorrow/today and it's 3:25am, so I should get to sleep. I have no idea why I decided to update this blog NOW, as I'm really tired and still feeling kinda blah. Maybe I'm scared to sleep because I'm afraid I'll have nightmares about the 8th worst movie ever (I just watched that Ben Affleck flick, Paycheck). I don't know why Ellen and I felt compelled to watch it to the end, I really don't. It wasn't scary, either...but I don't want to go to sleep with Ben Affleck's giant face looming in the recesses of my temporal lobe. Does that even make sense? I don't know what the temporal lobe processes.

On that idiotic note, I must go to bed. Speak soon, lovely people.

P.S. I just want you all to know that I really do own more than the 4-7 articles of clothing that appear over and over again in every single photo album. Anyone know how to work an iron?

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30 is the new 23


Kev's a keeper


Mother and daughter

May 17, 2007...
Hi. I'm so bored. I'm working on an ad for "handmade Oriental rugs" and have been ordered to replace "Iran" with "Persia" in a million different versions. How PC of Bloomie's. I'm just thinking that a Persian rug is not an Oriental rug, so the headlines in these ads are kind of misleading. Hmmm...I guess they must be okay with that as they run with that headline all the time. Maybe I should bring it up in a meeting...if the meeting is not about the having of the meeting, of course. It would have to be an actual meeting about rugs. But I don't think that'll ever happen and I have to evaluate the situation first anyway - to see if I care enough to care. Maybe I'll have a meeting about it - with myself. I'll let you know what the outcome of my meeting with me is. I'll probably just wake up with ink on my face and a pad full of doodles in front of me. I'll be sure to reprimand myself if that happens.

Wow... i'm delirious. I'm also hungry. What shall I eat today? Yesterday I had my heart attack lunch (grilled cheese with a side of bacon and a coffee). I'm allowed one heart attack lunch a week (this was decided in another meeting I had with myself).

My softball game was rained out yesterday so I went to get drinks with Darryl instead. Had 2 3/4 vodka tonics on an empty stomach so Ellen got an earful from me when I got home. Drunk Heatha=chatty Heatha. Ellen and I ate pasta and watched American Idol, which was okay. I like the final 2 being Blake and Jordin. Loved Melinda but those two are more interesting and Melinda will have a great recording career anyway. I think Jordin will win the whole thing, but I guess the ambiguously gay Blake could get votes from little girls AND big boys. You never know.

Seth called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that there was a Battlestar Galactica marathon on the Sci-fi channel. He was in the middle of taking care of Cece, who, incidentally, is crawling and saying "NO!" now! Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that Seth is an incredibly considerate and sweet boy, so I just wanted to give him a shout out!

Just looked at the clock. It's only NOON. Why is it that when I am at home putzing around, 9am becomes 4:30pm in an instant, but when I am stuck in an asbestos/cockroach-infested building in midtown, each minute lasts 4 centuries. It's just not fair. But I shouldn't complain because I am only here 3 days a week.

Okay...just discussed how many people we had available to play in tomorrow's Bloomingdale's softball game. That killed another 13 minutes. In case you were wondering, we have 6 people and need 9. I can't make it and if we have to forfeit this one, we are kicked out of the league. Tragic.

I obviously have NOTHING to say and yet I keep typing. I need help...and a grilled cheese, but I can't have another one this week. But maybe I can have it sans bacon? I will consult with myself about it.

Bye bye.

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May 15, 2007...
Good day to you all. I woke up to the news that Donald Trump's Apprentice was not renewed for the fall and I have to say that I was very happy about it. The Donald used to amuse me and the show was once fun, but all of his obnoxious antics with Martha and Rosie really just made me think he was petty and incredibly uncouth. (I am not taking Rosie's side either, FYI, she is much smarter than Trump, but equally obnoxious and déclassé.) Plus, this past season the show became idiotic - people were forced to sleep in tents and really dumb, somewhat repetitive tasks were assigned to contestants. I guess the Mark Burnett peeps were looking for other jobs at the time and couldn't be bothered to come up with new ideas. Also, his decisions for firing people were completely arbitrary and made no sense at all. It reminded me of the judges' comments on American Idol - one day the tell contestants they shouldn't parrot what other artists have done with a song and the next day they tell contestants they should make the songs their own. But really...what in the hell should I expect from popular television? I have my Battlestar Galactica and that is all I need.

My Titans softball team lost our first game last week. It wasn't a horrible loss, but a loss is a loss. We certainly didn't bring our misery to the bar afterwards. Donna ordered up some lemon drop shots and all was well about 13 minutes later. Supposedly I am going to start pitching. I'm not sure if I'm terrified or excited about this turn of events.

So Sunday was Mother's Day and Angie and I went to Macy's to find her some dresses for 2 weddings she has to go to (one is cousin Pickle's wedding, and Angie is the Godmother of the bride, so, the dress had to kick ass). Anyhooo... we found two very nice pieces and then went to pay for them. I had gotten Angie a gift card to put toward the dresses and when we tried to use it there was a problem. Yaw, the sales associate at the register, called his manager, Jackie, and then Yaw, Jackie, Angie and I had to traipse through the store to get to the men's section where I bought the damn card. Sigh. Is nothing ever easy?? Anyway, after that we had dinner at Rodeo Bar and went to see Fracture at the movies. Angie had a couple of pinot grigio's in her and stopped dead in front of one of the movie posters on the wall and yelled, "What's this movie!? This looks good." She was looking at a poster for Forrest Gump. Have another, Angie! Haha. Anyway, I think she had a good time and Sal approved of her dresses when she got home, so all is right with the world.

Did I tell you all that Brian and I passed 95% of our tennis certification test? We just have to retake this small part. Unfortunately they don't offer the test until July so we'll have to wait until then. Vicky, have you informed Teresa of this yet?

Just had to interrupt this entry to attend the most ridiculous meeting ever. All I got from it was that in the South, plastic surgery is supposedly a status symbol and that South Americans weren't shopping in Orlando. What!? Oh lordy... what a waste of an hour of my life.

Alrighty then... have a good Tuesday.

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Waking up to this ain't so bad


B-Team rules!


Paul goes for a snorkel


recommended...

May 7, 2007...
Hey kids! I’m back from St. John. Vicky, Paul and I had such a nice week. Paul snorkeled with the fishies much of the time and Vicky and I chilled out on boats and beaches, waded in pools, seas and hot tubs and drank more than our fair share of tasty concoctions. (These pictures might have you believe that our trip was sponsored by Heineken, but I assure you that it wasn’t. Actually, it was sponsored by Sandy Chapin and the B-team is forever grateful to her for her generosity.) I was cooked for and waited on by Paul and Vicky and there was always a full pitcher of pina coladas in the refrigerator. The temperature was in the mid 80s with limited humidity (no sweating – love it!) and it was sunny about 95% of the time. The 5% of the time it did rain, it frickin poured and awakened countless mosquitoes that subsequently feasted on Paul and me. (Not Vicky, for some reason… WTF, VK?) Paul actually spent about an hour killing mosquitoes that Vic and I pointed out to him one night. Thank God, or I would’ve come back even more speckled. As it is, my freckles have congealed into something resembling dirt on the bridge of my nose. I was pretty vigilant with the sunscreen, but there is nothing that can stop the freckles. Sigh. Anyway, the pics on here link to the whole album if you are interested in seeing more glamour shots of the gorgeous island.

What’s been going on? I could barely check email at the place where we stayed because there is one communal computer and the connection is beyond slow, so, sorry if I neglected any of you! I did get on to the internet a few times so I know that Paris Hilton was arrested, Derek Jeter’s been making a lot of errors (Babydaddy!) and Chris and Phil were voted off American Idol. Phew…good thing I know THOSE things. Speaking of American Idol, I was watching last week’s episode last night and guess what? I caught a very brief glimpse of myself! Remember that Bon Jovi video I was in where I was part of the staged crowd? (Just pretend you do.) Well, they showed a clip of it because Bon Jovi was the singers’ “mentor” last week. Too frickin funny. You can barely see me, but see below for the screen grab. I’m the shorter one holding the lower evil smiley face thingy. You can make out my big black watch and half of my face. So there you have it – I have 14min 59 seconds of fame left. Better get cracking…

Anyway, that’s the story and I will leave you with one of my favorite oxymorons: Happy Monday.

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Our sponsor?


Honeymoon Beach=heavenly


Perfectly content


Whatever girls on Martha


Let's Go Knicks!


Liz and her mom, post-performance


Liz's mom is number 61!


Q&A with the girls

April 19, 2007...
Good Thursday to you all. The weather teeters on the brink of being sunny, it’s almost the weekend and Mr. Malakar was finally voted off that damn show. Dana wonders what I will have to complain about now that pony hawk has been given the heave-ho. Well, let’s see, let’s start with the fact that I just had to go into 17 versions of a One Day Sale ad and change hyphens to en dashes and en dashes to m dashes. Who decided that there had to be 3 different lengths of dashes anyway? Well, in case you were wondering, the hyphen is the smallest, the en dash is as wide as an ‘N’ and the stupid m dash is double the width of an ‘N.’ Got it? And I may have lost 2 hours of my life attempting to be accurate in Bloomingdale’s ads, but you can bet I will not do so for this blog. You will have to just accept my inappropriate use of the dash.

Before I begin my superficial ramblings, I’d just like to add my condolences re: the Virginia Tech murders. The recently released videotapes and writings show that the psychopath blamed everyone and their rich mother for forcing him to kill. You know, you can argue until the end of time for or against gun control, but people who are willing to put a bullet into innocent people for reasons only known to their incredibly unstable minds will find a way to get the weapon they want, you can be sure of that and it’s truly scary. On a brighter (well, it’s not really brighter, but…) note, the acts of bravery that were seen in the face of this selfish, evil act were as inspiring as the murders were depressing. I guess we can take minor comfort in that. Sigh.

The pics that are up today include those from my and Ellen’s trip to watch the Knicks/Nets play and watch Liz’s mom and her merry band of senior hip-hop pros dance at the game, Maddison’s christening and a recent situation nearby my home involving brave fiyafightas. I went a little crazy with the camera. (No one was hurt in the fire, FYI.) I was very impressed by the boys in black and their skills. I’ve never actually seen a fire being fought live before.

So Liz’s mom was a dancing fool and the whole thing was just so well choreographed. The crowd was loving them, big time. You gotta give them major props. Liz’s mom is young (she’s 61 – their ages are on their jerseys) but there were other people in their 70s and 80s. As long as the Nets keep winning, Hip Hop Betty will keep dancing. You go, girl! (Sorry about yer Knicks, Elron.)

Sunday was Maddison’s christening. She was a dream — no crying and no fussing. She has this incredibly concerned expression on her face all the time with these big, inquisitive blue eyes and is, for the most part, a very serious baby, just like her mom! I succeeded in my Godmotherly duties and Maddison already knows how to say the “Our Father” in Latin (at least I think that’s what she was saying), so things are going quite well.

I had my first league softball scrimmage yesterday. It was muddy and cold and I had less than stellar at-bats. My fielding was okay, we won the game and I was able to slide without messing up another knee, so we’ll call it a good day. Go Titans! What else? I may be going to see Wanda Sykes in Jersey tonight. I have some deadlines I’m up against for Brides mag, though, so I might not end up going. (Fascinating, I know.) Still haven’t heard about the tennis certification. Oh - Report from Royersford: Cece is 10 months old today and very close to walking (she’s skipping the crawling because she feels it’s passé).

That’s the story. Enjoy your weekends!

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Contemplating life


Godmotherly duties


FDNY to the rescue!


Up on the roof


Great view!


Q&A with the girls


I had no "bright colors" to wear...


and Jonathan was in head-to-toe black


recommended...
April 13, 2007...
This might be a first - today I'm posting pics of something that just happened a few hours ago. How timely of me. Jonathan and I went to go see Alexis and Jennifer's Whatever Q&A segment on Martha this morning. A&J looked great and were incredibly candid, as usual. They (well, I'm sure this was Alexis's doing) banished Martha from their immediate area while they did the segment, so Martha busied herself chopping up celery in the kitchen and watching them on a monitor. Alexis teased Jennifer for being a nervous wreck, Jennifer implied Alexis was a slut, the girls debated whether a certain Jewish saying was "poo, poo, poo" (Jennifer) or "tsk, tsk, tsk" (Alexis) - it was good times all around and hopefully they'll grab some new fans from the exposure.

Hey, did you know if your hands smell like garlic you should run them under water against something that's stainless steel and they won't smell after that? Martha shared that tip during a commercial break. Who knew? Molly Shannon was on the show as well. Martha reprimanded her for using a power saw of sorts less than skillfully and likened her to a 5-year-old that couldn't color inside the lines. It was pretty damn funny.

Lugged some photo equipment back to Jonathan's mansion for his next shoot and then we loaded up on some greasy breakfast food. Walked home and now I must clean my disaster of a room before heading to New Joizey with Ellen the Hustler to watch the Knicks/Nets game. Liz Walkup's mom is in the Nets' senior hip-hop troupe and she'll be dancing at halftime! Hilarious.

Anyway, that's the update. I'm going to Little Neck on Sunday for Simone's little girl's christening. I'll be little Maddison's Godmother, if you can believe that one! No doubt there will be more baby pics on this page come Monday. (Not one WORD out of you, Snugget!!!)

Enjoy your weekends, people.

p.s. I'm leaving the Battlestar Galactica synopsis up so if you haven't watched it yet, please DO SO. It's required viewing.

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Battlestar Galactica CliffsNotes!


Sal (pre-Strega), BFF and Vic


Me and Le chef


Pickle has met her match


Strega!


Baseball fever, sans heat


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April 11, 2007...
I’ve been trying to get to this entry but things have been hectic. I know you’ve all been sitting at home wondering how Easter was at the Leo household. I KNOW IT! Easter was utterly hilarious, in fact. Attendance included, but was not limited to: Vicky, BFF, Billy the Great, Faye, the lone Jew and Faye’s Greek Orthodox in-laws. My aunt, uncle and other family friends were there, too, and it wouldn’t be a holiday without my fabulous cousin, Pickle and her soon-to-be husband, Kevin. They’re getting married in September – if and only if, with the help of Ellen the Hustler, I manage to procure 8 dulce de leche sashes from Watters & Watters. (Don’t ask.) Anyway, click on any Easter pic to see the whole gallery. The Greek Orthodox peeps (PEEPS!) made us play this egg game where you “tap” the top of your egg on the egg of person sitting next to you and if yours survives intact, you go around the table tapping everyone else’s eggs. The egg that survives without cracking wins and that person gets good luck or some noise. Interestingly, one of the Greeks won this game and Faye, the lone Jew, cried foul. No, I’m lying…no one cried foul (although someone should have) - I just like saying “Faye, the lone Jew”…it sounds so majestic. (Faye is in on this joke, people, so don’t get all up in my grill.) Anyhooo, BFF was serving shots to the masses throughout the evening, and by 10pm, Sal and company were feeling no pain. Sal scooped up the candied strawberry from my mini cheesecake thingy and put it in his glass of Strega. Now, if you are familiar with last Easter’s Strega incident, you’ll know that there is cause for concern when this liqueur is presented to the menfolk. In case you are wondering, Strega is “the most famous Italian liqueur in the world,” according to, where else, www.Strega.it Anyway, I didn’t get any phone calls the next day about Sal’s behavior, so I’m assuming all went well.

There’s a pic on here of Cristin and I from last Friday’s Yankee game. (Thanks for the invite, C!) We froze our butts off , the boys lost and babydaddy hurt his toe! Tragic. We managed to have fun despite the numbskulls sitting to our left, our right, in front of us AND behind us. Yeesh. Some people are just SO present. Especially notable was the guy who turned to me and asked, “So, are you a Yankee fan or an Orioles fan?” As I was wearing a YANKEE hat, I thought I could just tip said cap and he’d figure it out. But no, he just kind of stared blankly as I let the silence fill the air. I gave him a break and finally pointed to my hat. Granted, he was drunk, but I have no patience for such things.

You should all know that Ricardo is on blogging probation for telling Vicky that she could never be a stand-up comedian because she was only good at reacting to things humorously. Hmmm… someone sounds a little envious. First of all, Rico, Ms. Victoria could do anything in the universe if she really wanted to do it. Second of all, reacting to something off the cuff in a witty manner requires a much more refined and intelligent sense of humor than writing a string of jokes and then presenting them. Now, I’m not dissing stand up comics, per se, because the good stand-up comics are skilled at stand-up AND improv. I’m just saying that the latter is way more difficult because it is more instinctive. You cannot really learn to be funny. If you are trying to be funny, then you probably aren’t funny. Apologize and you will get your blogging privileges back, Hernandez. I got ya back, VK.

p.s. I’m OBSESSED with Battlestar Galactica. (Thanks for loaning me those DVDs, Seth!) I was up until 3am last night watching 4 episodes in a row. The storylines are so engaging and the characters are incredibly well-rounded. I highly recommend it! See below for a plot synopsis.

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Battlestar Galactica Cliff Notes!

Brides Skates!


We conquered the mountain!


Après ski


Could we BE bigger dorks?


Cake, beer pong, a sore sacrum and sub degree temps, what more could Melissa have asked for?

April 6, 2007...
Hello pretty people. What’s new? I finally downloaded pics from Melissa’s birthday celebrations, including our ski trip to Vermont, so I’m putting a few of them up today. (Click on the pics to see the whole gallery.) One would think we’d be talking daffodils and 60-degree breezes at this point but, alas, it is 36 frickin degrees in the Big Apple today, so posting pictures of a ski trip is appropriate, I suppose. What makes this cold just a little easier to deal with is that I just booked my plane ticket to St. John! Vicky, Paul and I are going in a few weeks! (Thanks to the fabulous Sandy Chapin, who has given us the use of her family’s condo at Gallows Point again.)

And so, the warm weather awaits and this is good. This freezing cold crap is incredibly inconvenient TODAY, however, because Cristin and I will be sitting outside in it for 5 hours tonight at the Yankee game. Cannot WAIT to go see my boys, though, so I’ll just have to deal. I’m actually thinking of going in my snowboarding gear. Maybe I’ll even bring the goggles. Cristin will be so happy that she brought the freak in the pink ski goggles to the game. Anyway, the Yanks are one and one and I am SO glad baseball season is under way. Speaking of playing ball, I got my Bloomingdale’s softball jersey and I love it. It says Leo on the back and I finally got #2! Babydaddy will be so proud. I don’t know how I’m going to manage being on three teams this season, but a playa must do what a playa must do.

In other news, I went ice skating at Wollman Rink in Central Park with the ladies from Brides magazine last Friday. Millie, Sally, Rachel, little Cleo and I hit the ice with the fabulously talented Sarah Leingang, who showed us all kinds of competition-caliber moves. It was a good time, even though the ice was kinda gross due to the fact that it was 63 degrees and half of it was melting. Trump has stamped his name all over this place. Apparently he is responsible for refurbishing it, but really, does he have to use the most hideous font and color imaginable in the “Logo"? Check out the website (link above) – all kinds of pretty script and then a hideous TRUMP in red block letters. The man has absolutely no taste.

Anyhooo… Sangaya’s still on Idol and the world is still spinning, for better or for worse. My mom left me a message last night saying that her friend saw me on some public access channel in Great Neck last night. I was once in an Easter play when I was 13 or something – I was Veronica, the chick who gave Jesus a cloth to wipe his face when he was carrying the cross. The play was videotaped and some random station is apparently airing the damn thing. Ha! Angie goes, “Heath, you finally made it, you were on TV!” Angie gets props for some well-appointed sarcasm there. Can you imagine? They don’t have a more recent video of something having to do with Easter to air on their station? They run a Passion Play from 1989!? Beyond ridiculous.

I’m finally back into the yoga swing of things. Went to Laughing Lotus with Ellen and Melissa on Tuesday and again yesterday night. We are going to attempt to make it to the Tuesday night class each week. (Vicky – we’ll call these evenings ROOMIE TUESDAYS in your honor. He he.)

Easter is this weekend. Should be interesting as there will be 20 or more of us. Aunt Faye, the lone Jew, will be joined by her Greek Orthodox in-laws, the proper Catholics and heathens such as myself (hopefully Vicky and Paul will round out the heathen contingent). I’m quite sure it will be a grand old time, as our holidays usually take on a life of their own. I’ll be sure to fill you all in next week.

Happy Easter, lovelies!

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Bloopers from The Office!
rico's ramblings...
Yes Yes Yes. I have been on hiatus - hibernating for the winter. In the interim, I went back to Spain and traveled to Berlin (more to come). I also had the pleasure of visiting Mississippi and Alabama (searching for Daisy Duke). I still have Tululu the cat and I am still amused by Doug Lee’s classic and incredibly hilarious statements. I've been practicing with my blues/funk band Slippery Sunrise (will let you know when we have shows coming up). I also tried giving up alcohol for Lent, and that lasted 2 days. Overall, it has been a FESTIVUS to remember!

Now, I would like to spend a little time on Berlin . I actually had the honor of visiting Berlin for the first time back in 1989. I crossed Checkpoint Charlie into East Berlin 2 weeks before the wall came down (I was an exchange student in HS). This was my first time back to Berlin since then. I must admit that Berlin has really come into its own. Apparently the government gives lots of subsidies to artists, making the city a paradise for art lovers. Besides the many museums, the city is full of galleries and exhibitions. I had the pleasure of being there during the Berlin Film Festival, which was fantastic. Stayed in Mitta, which is in what used to be East Berlin. This is the “artsy” part of town. Sort of reminded me of my own neighborhood in NYC – the East Village. Anyway, the restaurants and bars were great! As always, whenever in Germany, I spent a great deal of time drinking the delicious beer. They really seem to get the flavor/alcohol content just right!!! I also got caught without a train ticket (in Berlin it's all about the honor system). So, for not buying a 3EUR ticket, I was fined 45EUR! NICE. Regardless of my train experience, I would really recommend visiting Berlin – it’s a beautiful city.

So, I am really captivated by the TV show Heroes. It's my second favorite show after Family Guy. Although I do not know how they can drag it into many more seasons. If anyone gets a chance to watch Discovery HD, they have a show called Sunrise Earth which is amazing. Here's the description: “The one-hour program, which airs weekdays at 7 a.m. and 11 a.m. (and during the evening on some days), is reminiscent of the opening minutes of Kubrick's remarkable 2001: A Space Odyssey. Referred to as "The Dawn of Man," the film's opening masterfully displays the rising of the sun against a beautiful, mountainous backdrop millions of years ago. The director offers a glimpse of what our world was like before man and his evil ways started to interfere." It really is worth watching. Maybe I can tie this show in with my band, Slippery Sunrise, (in case anyone missed the mention above). That would be great!

It looks like wedding season is about to begin. In May and June I have weddings in the Dominican Republic, Texas and California. Plus, a wedding on Long Island (no, it's not in Cold Spring Harbor - the town where the fabulous Victoria Kuhne spent her childhood listening to The Cure and hanging in rowboats reminiscent of those on Dawson’s Creek). And all of these weddings come with engagement parties! CRAZY! Anyway, I should have some good stories from these weddings in future entries. Until then, I am just looking forward to riding season!! /R

March 29, 2007...
I just wrote yesterday and I’m writing again! How about that? It's like old times. I’m antsy and bored at Bloomingdale’s so I figured I’d check in. Last night, Vicky, Sarah and I went to a little eatery that is quickly becoming a new favorite of mine - Bruschetteria. It’s tiny, totally unpretentious and cheap. What more can you ask for, really? The portobello and gorgonzola bruschetta is my favorite. Go there.

Here’s some news of the some-news-is-good-news ilk: Sally is going to give me a trial run doing some freelance work for Brides magazine. If I am up to the task, there’s a chance I may escape Bloomingdale’s! Wish me luck.

In other happy news, I had the rare breeze-through morning this a.m. A breeze-through morning is when my subway comes right away, there is no coffee line and I am just handed what I want without asking (LOVE the girl at Café 55!) and the elevator opens as I approach it. Vicky and I were discussing our morning coffee purchases last night and how wonderful it was that the delis we went to knew what we wanted and we didn’t have to talk. Silence…it is such a beautiful, underrated thing. In my case, I just slide a dollar across the counter (yes, you can still get decent coffee for a dollar - screw Starbucks) to the dude at the cash register and the woman hands me my coffee. If the stoplights are in my favor I can sometimes walk in and out of the deli and across the street without missing a beat. (The little things make me happy, it’s true.)

OMG – someone is playing Madonna’s “Holiday” loud and proud on their iTunes. I cannot! Speaking of subpar singers that develop a massive fan base – SANJAYA has made it through yet another round of Idol. Okay, okay… Madonna is way better than Sanjaya – settle down, Jason, et. al. I needed a segue. I am mildly amused by the whole Sanjaya thing. How do you think it feels to be a fraud – a cocktail party joke? Of course, if you just want to be famous for being famous, I guess it’s not so bad. Hopefully Sanjaya is just going with it out of sheer amusement and not because he is totally delusional. I really can’t believe that I even have an OPINION on Sanfrickinjaya, but there it is. “Borderline” is on now. Wow… I’m going to be treated to the WHOLE album. I love working in cubicles. You know, when I listen to my music I put my headphones on. Why are people so annoying?

I just heard this a.m. that James Blunt is dating Lindsey Lohan. Does anyone care? I need it out of my brain, so I’m purging. What else needs to go – oh, Saint Angelina is adopting yet another baby. She should just open up an orphanage already. I mean, she’s adopted so many kids that none will get the attention they need anyway. I'm sure the members of her brood will all be very well-dressed, though - in matching green cargo shorts, black T-shirts and flip-flops; heads topped with variations on the Mohawk and/or stylish shags, no doubt. I wonder if Brad longs for the days where he could get a beer with his buddies and wake up at noon. Bait and switch, Brad, huh? Missing Jennifer, I'm sure. Oh well… I think that’s all the unsolicited celeb news I have in my noggin. No…wait - there is also the Wynonna Judd thing (husband fondled a 12-year-old…gross), something about Halle Berry being suicidal once (shocking) and Bono was knighted (That’s Sir Bono to you, bizzzzzatches!). I feel better now.

I will close this entry with a song lyric: “Romeo and Juliet they never felt this way, I bet - so don’t underestimate my point of view.” Yeah, what SHE said.

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Visiting Cece


Cynthia and me


Are Dan and I running for office?


Swan diving precedes crawling


What Cecelia Grace sees

March 28, 2007...
Good afternoon, lovelies. Ricardo has emailed me his blog entry, and, from what I hear, he is muy annoyed that I haven’t put it up yet. Sorry Ricardo…GOSH. I was practically dying yesterday from breathing in toxic air all day at Bloomie’s so cut me some slack. Seriously - the air, or lack thereof, in this building is killing me. Every vent harbors noxious gases, I’m sure of it. Oh and you know what it could also be – the anti-vermin/ insect sprays/gels that they put up there in the air shafts. I guess I’d prefer to be slowly poisoned than to have waterbugs raining down on my head. Sigh. It’s too bad those are my choices. It could be worse, I suppose.

Not too much new with me and, lately, I’ve really become a believer in the tired old phrase “no news is good news.” Yes, my cynical self has embraced this sad mantra. I say this because it seems that just when you think all is going well, someone’s family member is killed in a car accident, your doctor sends you a giant bill you weren’t expecting, the IRS decides to audit your poor ass, you get turned down for jobs you really want, etc. etc. Only a couple of those examples involve me, and, thankfully, they are not the first or the third, so I really shouldn’t complain.

Phew… I am Debbie frickin’ downer today! Shall I move on from this gloom and doom? Yes I shall. This past weekend I visited Dana, Seth and Cece. Cece is just adorable and Dana and Seth are ADORING. It’s so great to watch. You can kind of see how some kids become well-adjusted and some don’t. Cece smiles endlessly and loves to laugh, just like her parents. We had a very relaxing time. I slept late, was served breakfast when I woke up and was treated to a selection of about a bazillion DVDs to watch. We – well, I (Seth and Dana fell asleep!) watched Casino Royale, which was awesome and Daniel Craig is AMAZING and the only Bond I ever want to see again; School for Scoundrels, which was pretty entertaining and Crank, which was, um, engaging. Yeah…engaging. The scene with Amy Smart in Chinatown...wow. (If you saw the movie you know I need not say more than that. Just don't watch it with children OR your parents.) The male lead was awesome, though. Forget his name… Wait, I’ll yahoo it. (Tim, you out there? Google be gone!) The actor is Jason Statham, who was also in Snatch and some other stuff. Like him! I made Dana and Seth watch my guilty pleasure: Goal: The Dream Begins, with babydaddy-in-training, Kuno Becker. I laughed, I cried, they tolerated. Anyway, the weekend was a great getaway and I’m glad I got to catch up with Dana and Seth. Their assignment for the next few months is to try to stay awake past 10pm and drink more than 2 beers at a time, for we have to prepare for our 10-year college reunion that is in June. Get on that, you guys.

Monday night I went to the GLAAD media awards. My good friend Danny is a member of GLAAD’s media circle, so we all got tickets for his table. Danny’s friends are all of the fun, friendly and witty variety, so it was a great time. Watching Patti Labelle ignore the teleprompter altogether while yelling to Jennifer Hudson that she was surprised that Jennifer wasn’t a bitch was definitely a highlight. I wonder how they’ll edit her 15-minute long "speech" for TV. I think it will be on MTV on April 21st or something.

Going bridesmaid dress shopping this weekend with Nicole and the crew of barmaids. Hopefully we will find and order the dress we’ve all agreed on for once and for all. This weekend also marks the start of my softball season, much to Vicky’s dismay. Yay Brooklyn!

Speaking of Brooklyn, I’m reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn because I’ve never read it, for some reason. It is absolutely fabulous. Betty Smith writes like a dream and the story is woven so beautifully.

Okay…methinks that’s your update. Hope all is well and ignore my earlier cynicism if you wish to have a happy, sunny day. After all, it is true that some news can be good news. It can. That reminds me – Tim, why isn’t there a ‘News’ search engine for Yahoo? There is for Google. This may ultimately affect my advocacy for the former engine.

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"The manatee has become the mento..."

March 21, 2007...
It’s tragic. I haven’t written since Feb. 14th, and even my loyal readers have given up on me. It’s so sad to see a big old donut hole in my web stats. And now, the question is, can I win you back? It may be too late, but I will try.

Before I say anything else, I must say: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE SHIELDS!!!! Hope it's a good one.

A lot has been going on. First, I got a phone interview for Teach for America, but as many of you know, I did not get an in-person interview. I guess my stellar personality did not translate well over the phone lines. This changes my life overhaul plan significantly. Now I am back to square one – bored at Bloomingdale’s but in need of a paycheck. There is a potential light at the end of the tunnel, though – there is the USPTA tennis certification. I took that test a few weeks ago and it was grueling. I have no idea how I did. I’ll let you all know what happens, for better or worse.

You sushi aficionados will be happy to know that I ate all sorts of raw fish that I would never have ordered myself at dinner a few weeks ago at Nobu Next Door. (Alexis ordered it, so I have no idea what I ate.) I was pleasantly surprised, and there was this deeeeeeelicious scallop thing involving butter and truffle oil that I am still dreaming about. Momma Angie came into town that same week and I took her to Penelope, which she said she liked, but I think she missed the white zinfandel and shrimp scampi she usually likes to order. She doesn’t understand why most restaurants don’t serve white zinfandel. I’ve tried to explain to her that they don’t serve it because it is horrible and acidic, but she doesn’t agree. Sutter Home is her crack. Sigh. Anyway, we went to go see that Hugh Grant/Drew Barrymore vehicle, Music and Lyrics, with Melissa afterwards. I was dreading it, but it really was actually somewhat decent for a romantic comedy. Pretty funny, actually. The next day we went to mom's favorite place in the city – Old Town Bar - and stuffed our cholesterol-filled arteries with every vile appetizer we could think of - we’re smart like that. We discussed hypocrisy in the Roman Catholic church and my mom kept calling me a ‘liberal.’ I explained to her that I hated the term ‘liberal’ as much as I hated the term ‘conservative’ – they were boring, simple words that people hid behind to explain opinions and subsequent behavior that was divorced from a rational thought process…but that’s just my opinion.

Went to the Rouge Wine Bar with Chris for Danny’s birthday. Chris told us all of his plan to open up a charter school somewhere in a few years. I told him I wanted to get on board. Of course, it would be great if I could get some teaching experience, so I have to figure out another way to get into the classroom. Anyone have any ideas? Chris Steel will rule the world one day, FYI – I’m sure of it.

St. Pat’s day was okay. The crowds were lame, but dancing my ass off to the worst/best 90s music ever in “Choices” (what a DUMB name for a bar...just reminds you that you should probably go somewhere else because there are better bars to be loitering in) with Vicky, Ellen, Brad, Jeff and Schwabe was definitely a highlight. "Everybody cut everybody cut…everybody cut everybody cut…" xo, Kevin Bacon.

Hit the batting cages in Brooklyn with my softball girls on Sunday at the crack of dawn and afterwards I played Donna and Anna’s Nintendo Wii. OH MY GOD I want one! It is the coolest thing ever. We went to this cute Mexican restaurant for brunch afterwards where they told me tales of a possible trip around the world that may occur while Anna is waiting for her US visa to be renewed. I’m thinking I might join them for a leg of said trip.

Oh and tonight, I’m FINALLY getting my eyebrows shaped. Sarah recommended this girl Didina at Lather. Apparently Didina was Eliza Petrescu’s assistant at Avon, so I am definitely in good hands. We shall see. Speaking of grooming, Vicky and I are finally getting a hair cut. We’re going to Parlor tomorrow night. Don’t worry, BFF, I promise that I will not cut all of my hair off.

Okay, I think that’s all that’s been going on. You are all caught up. I’m off to Pennsylvania to visit Dana, Seth and Cece this weekend. I’m looking forward to getting a quiet night’s sleep. Lately, between my cat waking me up every morning at 7am and the street noise (it’s official – 30th street IS the epicenter of the universe), I can never get a quiet, uninterrupted sleep. Whine, whine, whine...hmmm, wine? Yes... but eyebrows first. Until tomorrow, perhaps.

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rico's ramblings...
Rico's ramblings is on hiatus until Rico sends me a new entry. You can view his last entry here


Listen to
Brandi Carlile


Practically siblings


Pre-wedding jitters


Aunt Ev and the boys


Trouble with a capital 'T'


A few drinks later...


Friends since the Bronx ghetto

February 14, 2007...
Hello all. Haven’t written in a million years for no good reason whatsoever. Today is Valentine’s Day, as you all probably know – for better or for worse. Alexis refers to it as Singles Awareness Day, which I find hilarious. I am personally of the opinion that, like Arbor Day, Valentine’s Day is just another attempt to suck money out of unsuspecting pockets. I was in Starbucks the other day (not entirely my fault) and saw their Valentine’s Day merchandise and thought, “who buys this shit?” “Romantic” mix CDs, giant mugs in a rather ugly pink (think dirty pastel) with a heart carved into the face and medium-sized teddy bears dressed up in pinkish suits and dresses. Hmmm. So who do you give these bears to? Do you give the girl bear that’s wearing the pink dress with hearts on it to the boyfriend or the girlfriend? And what about the boy bear wearing the pink tie, etc.? Somehow I don’t think a straight guy would like that…and why would a girl want a boy teddy bear that’s dressed all kinds of gay. Someone needs to give Starbucks’ marketing team a good talking to. But anyway – enjoy the day if you are doing anything special.

A nor’easter has blown into town and New Yorkers are slipping and sliding everywhere. I like storms – they break up the monotony of the work day. Although people do constantly feel the need to talk about bad weather, and this is exhausting. (Of course that's what I'm doing now, but WHATEVER.) Anyway, after the 20th time one hears, “It’s nasty out there!” one wants to bang one’s head against one’s cubicle wall.

Still trying to get the $196 the was wrongfully STOLEN from me from Bloomingdale’s payroll via some Marshal’s office via this SHADY collection agency called Pressler and Pressler – look out, people, they are ruthless. If you’ve heard the story, I won’t bore you, but I will say you should order a free credit report at AnnualCreditReport.com (you can get one free one each year). Check the report to make sure there is nothing weird on it and that they don’t have a few versions of your name listed.

Went to Saturday Night Live last Saturday night. Forest Whitaker and Keith Urban were the guests. Jonathan got tickets because his very nice friend Brian works for the show. We ended up sitting in THE best seats and then went to the after party, where we shared a few moments with Amy Poehler, some cast members from my beloved 30 Rock, Kenan Thompson, Seth Myers, a very nice NBC page and, of course, the great Andy Samberg. That boy is a genius. Anyway, it was a most excellent evening. Thank you again, Jonathan.

As I have not blogged, I have not had a chance to put up pictures from my dear cousin Nicole’s surprise 30th birthday. There are some up on the page today, and if you want to see the whole album, click here. I think the pickle is sunning herself in Aruba right now – damn you, cousin. Anyway, I think she is done hating me for technically missing her birthday (her actual birthday was January 26th and I was snowboarding in VT that weekend) but her surprise party was held on February 3rd). Sigh.

The Yankees started spring training, so this fills my heart with glee. My babydaddy Valentine, Mr. Jeter, is waking up from his long winter’s nap. Good morning babydaddy!

What else? Oh, I know how to solve the Rubik’s cube now. I practically wore the little stickers off the thing learning how to do it.

Okay…that is all for today. Brain is frozen…must be all this nasty weather we’re having! Buh-bye.

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"Truth in Advertising"
rico's ramblings...
Well, Happy New Year. Yes I said it. 3 weeks late, but have a happy one anyway! Just recently got back from Spain where the threat of more terrorist actions by the Basque separatist group (ETA) seems more likely. It’s a scary time for most Spaniards, as they thought the proposed ceasefire would actually hold. Hopefully they will find weapons of mass destruction this time.

I have recently taken in my friend’s cat TU-LU-LU (yes, that is his name) while she looks for a new place. It’s funny how much a pet livens up your life. Got home yesterday completely tired and upset from a crazy day at work. It was nice to throw some cat nip on Tu-Lu-Lu and watch him go. After an hour of laughing my ass off, I felt completely rejuvenated. I tried giving catnip to my friend Anup, but the effects were not quite the same, although he appeared to eventually cough up a hair ball. Go figure.

Before I go on, I must share another Doug Lee excerpt from a message he sent me today: "lunch today is 10 coconuts and a hammer.” Hilarious! Anyway, I was at Son Cubano with my friend Alejandro and his cousin (who is off to Italy to be a special attaché to the Ecuadorian Embassy in Rome ). The freakin’ kid (he is 27 yrs old) is going to live in Rome for 5 years and have diplomatic status! SWEET! If not for all the nuts on Vespas in Rome (probably on catnip), that is as close to the perfect situation as you can get. We had a bunch of Mojitos (it’s a man drink!!!) in celebration. While I was there I met a woman who was wearing a cast on her left leg. She still managed to dance salsa, which was pretty cool. Apparently, she hurt her leg running up a flight of stairs in pursuit of a mugger. Amazing! Wished her well and then proceeded to take her purse because I knew she couldn’t outrun me in a cast! Ok, I did not take her purse, poor joke. She actually did not have a purse.

Moving on... Going to go and see my Godson this weekend. Still have not given him his Xmas gift. A little late, but I am sure the Cabbage Patch Kid will go over just fine (come on...you remember them!). Going to watch some football this weekend, although my Cowboys are out, both NY teams are out and San Diego is out, so I really do not care who wins. Baseball season is around the corner baby!. I wish all the best to Lindsay Lohan in her time of suffering, I remember trying to go dry, it nearly killed me. That is all for now, short and sweet (well, Heather does not really give me much room – she is a tyrant and should be stopped!). Love you Heath…/R


Tim Lewis makes a cameo appearance

BFF's ladies

LES...represent

Happy Birthday Melissa!

Congrats Slim and Anna!

Devilish
January 23, 2007...
It’s damn cold outside, but you’ll all be happy to know that I have finally purchased a warm jacket. It’s only taken me 8 years. You’ll also be comforted to know that, in the event of an avalanche, my jacket is equipped with a passive device can be detected by radar. Good thing…you know how many avalanches I come across each year. I actually purchased the jacket for our ski trip to Killington that’s going on this coming weekend. Cross your fingers that I don’t break anything, because my tennis test is in a few weeks.

So…Hillary and Barak are in the running. History in the making all around! A very interesting primary and election are ahead of us. For the first time in a while, I feel that both parties are putting forth worthy candidates. I am actually looking forward to this whole shebang. But we won’t talk politics, because that’s too important and serious.

Instead, let us discuss what’s been going on in my social life (MUCH less important…and probably less interesting, but this is MY blog so… kiss it.)

BFF’s birthday was a couple Fridays ago, and Victoria, Rachel and I celebrated with Paul at Gyu Kaku before heading to meet a few more of Paul’s posse at Stanton Social. Good times.

Tim was in from Ireland for a visit!!! We all had Sushi at I-can’t-remember-the-name and then Italian pastries at I-can’t-remember-this-name-either and then we accompanied Paul to his gig at Pianos for a little while. Tim, if you are reading, you are SO DEAD for those phone messages last night. You’ll find out.

Friday night Vicky and I wandered into the Gramercy Park Hotel to check out the recent “improvements.” We were dismayed to find that the tacky old piano bar had been replaced by a sleek lounge of sorts. We had an interesting time, despite the fact that our vodka sours were $16-18 each (we still can’t figure out why it was a different price each time). A blonde woman with the fakest boobs we’ve ever seen and her overly tanned boyfriend dressed in a pink sweater eyed us quizzically as we perused the National Geographic from 1939 that Vicky got from an antiques dealer (her grandfather has a photo essay in it!) but other than that, no one seemed to mind that we were there, seated pooltableside at the head of the room in our too-casual attire, both fascinated and repulsed by the outfits and plastic surgery that were before us. We stayed for a while and decided that we’d definitely go back, AFTER a good dinner and some reasonably-priced cocktails, of course. Geez…talk about a mark-up.

Saturday night, Ellen and I met Vicky and went to Williamsburg for the re-opening of Luna Lounge. It was a very cool space and BFF was bartending. Good times. We went across the street afterwards to this tiny little bar called Black Betty and proceeded to have the time of our lives. The DJ was awesome and the crowd was diverse and very cool. I highly recommend it.

Sunday was an interesting evening as well. Vicky and I went to the World Financial Center to babysit Maceo for Jen, who was doing a number in a Grateful Dead tribute concert. Aging deadheads flocking to the Winter Garden of the World Financial Center…bizarre. We met Victoria’s hilarious friend from work, Teresa, and her daughter prior to the show and watched the parade of former hippies warm up for their “dancing.” Okay, if you are a Deadhead, I’m sorry if I’m about to offend you, but the dancing has to be addressed. What IS this dancing? It is more akin to a seizure or a good-natured tantrum, if such a thing is possible. There is a complete lack of rhythm. It’s an offbeat bounce or something. I can’t handle it. It defies everything I know about the dance. Someone please explain it to me. Anyway, Maceo was a dream, we got to chat with Josh and Jenny rocked the joint with “Truckin” or whatever the song is called. (Can you tell I was never a Deadhead??)

Yesterday I dropped little Emma off to stay with the ‘rents so she is not all by her lonesome when I head off to spend the weekend faceplanting in Killington. After much resistance on my part, my mom finally got me to go to Macy’s with her, but other than that, all was well. I gorged on the best pizza in New York, nay, the WORLD and was home just in time to head off with Melissa to Boca Chica for her birthday dinner. Melissa loved the hi-top Converse sneaks that we bought her and hopefully they will do much to heal the wounds of her painful Converse past. (Ask Melissa to tell you the story…I won’t do it justice. Brief synopsis – when she was a girl, her dad made her give her favorite Converse hi-tops to her cousin in the Phillippines because he really liked them and couldn’t afford them.) It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.

Wow, I’m really blah, blah, blah-ing it up today. Bored yet? Before I depart, I just want to give a shout out to Slim and Anna, as I just read that Ryan Gosling got a Best Actor Oscar nomination for the film that they wrote/produced/ directed/edited, Half Nelson. I’m sure many more successes will follow, considering the caliber of work that Slim and Anna put out there. Especially cool is that they work their asses off and make their visions realities without compromising and without kissing up. Slim, I’m proud to have served with you as Tim’s bodyguard back in Hell’s Kitchen. Two words: Shine. Box.

Okay…so, last but not least, Donna is back from Dubai and she sent me a picture of herself and coworkers SKIING in an INDOOR MALL!? No joke! It intrigued me so much, I had to post it here. Check it.

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San Francisco, represent!

Brain trust

Kristy stopped by!

Elron and The PHOTO DIRECTOR

Me and Melissa

The main event
January 10, 2007...
Okay, okay, okay! I’ll update the site. Thank you for caring, my loyal readers. It’s day 10 of 2007 and I have nothing to show for it. Typical. Our New Year’s Party went okay. It wasn’t overflowing with people, but the people that showed up brought their A-games. There was about 30-minutes where it got very quiet after Melissa and her gang left to experience New Year’s at some bar downtown, but thankfully a new Melissa (center fielder Melissa from my softball team) came and brought 4 very cool people with her. Anna and Donna were supposed to leave to go to another party, but they ended up staying and entertaining the lot of us with their ping-pong prowess. (Yes, Donna, I’ll arrange a rematch so you can TRY to even the score.) My famous White Trash punch was apparently very popular, as all that remained come 2am was a lone, soggy blueberry. Sadly, I forgot that I had the materials to make a whole new batch of the stuff and now we are stuck with 2 of the cheapest bottles of champagne in the world. Of course, I could just throw them out, but that seems wasteful. Maybe I’ll have a punch party next week. Or maybe I’ll just make thermoses of mimosas to take to work every day. Actually, that’s not a bad idea – I could use an early morning boost here at Gloomingdale’s.

Thank God the holidays are over! The tourists are gone, I don’t have to stand on a line that is 22 people deep at the post office and there are no more office holiday parties to avoid. I can take a deep breath and focus.

The latest thing I am focusing on is getting Brian and myself USPTA-certified to teach tennis. We’ve applied and signed up for the test, which takes place March 8-9 at the USTA. Got the study materials in the mail the other day and almost had heart failure. The prep book is almost 400 pages! I’m starting to go over it a little each day, which is unlike me because I am usually a crammer when it comes to studying. But the amount of crap you need to know for this test is crazy, so I must get started. Just this morning, I was going over the different hand grips and I am already confused. Great. I also need to brush up on my playing skills, as I am assuming the people I teach would want their instructor to actually be able to play the damn game. I thought 2 months would be plenty of time to prepare. Now, I’m not so sure.

If I passed the test, I wouldn’t necessarily want to become a full-time tennis pro (don’t worry, Gary, I am not ditching dreams of selling my screenplay, etc.). It would just be something to have in my arsenal. I would much rather support my bigger dreams with a job as a tennis pro than with a job where I have to sit in a cubicle fending off idiots all day. You feel me? If nothing else, my “long-suffering” brother might be able to make a lucrative career out of it all. (P.S. This tennis thing does NOT mean I’m forgetting about applying to Teach for America.)

So, it should be noted that my cousin Nicole has practically planned/booked her entire wedding (it’s this coming September) in the space of a month and a half. She’s been very decisive…not fussy at all. I love it. I believe she just has to finalize the guest list and send out invites. Oh and we bridesmaids have to find our dresses. I’m confident that I won’t look like a carrot in the rust color, Nic…really, I am. Hehe.

Master Timothy Lewis will be in town this weekend, visiting us from his latest hometown – Dublin. I will be meeting Mr. Lewis on Friday and escorting him to Hotel de La Victoria sometime in the afternoon. Looking forward to it, Timmy. I believe we will all be celebrating BFF’s birthday on Saturday… that should be fun.

I am going home to Little Neck for dinner on Sunday. My mother has requested my presence at a dinner she is hosting for a few friends and the two monsignors at her parish, St. Aloysius. These two priests are most erudite and my mother believes that I might be able to entertain them because, of course, I am scholarly and worldly and all that jazz. Do erudite people spend their time playing beer pong on their kitchen table? I don’t think so. Anyway, she isn’t sure if one of the monsignors is definitely coming, because apparently he is not sure if he is flying to Rome on Sunday or Monday with Rudy Giuliani and Judith Nathan (he is one of Rudy’s lawyers and also Rudy’s BFF) for an audience with the Pope. WTF? Must be nice. Anyway. I’m staying over until Monday and taking that sorely needed tennis lesson with my bro before I come back into the city.

Ok…what else? Was adding links to Alexis’s blog on Whateverradio.com this a.m. and saw that she was doing something cool. She bought a bunch of books and was sending them to the troops in Iraq. If anyone’s interested, she mentions this site where you can find out how to send care packages – anysoldier.com. Seems like a really nice thing to do.

Another really nice thing to do – dive onto subway tracks and save a man that’s about to be run over. Holy crap! Saw that guy on the Ellen Degeneres show yesterday. I am still totally amazed that he did that and wonder if I would ever do such a thing. I mean, the train was COMING RIGHT AT THEM. Intense. Glad there are people like that out there in this city.

Have you guys been following the Donald/Rosie/Barbara saga? I try NOT to know about it, but it’s useless because it’s EVERYWHERE. My assessment: Donald is ridiculous with his rambling letters to the media and it just makes him look like a petty fool; Rosie is honest, but is rather crass in her delivery and just never stops talking (loudly) in general; and Barbara thinks she is classier than Rosie, but really she is just a two-faced, incredibly insecure woman whose first concern is her own career. OF COURSE Barbara told Trump she didn’t like Rosie and OF COURSE she is saying she did not say that. And you know Barbara is royally pissed that Trump told the world what she told him. And Trump is just stirring up the pot because The Apprentice has totally jumped the shark – it was the introduction of the loser ‘tents’ and bleached blonde hair he had in the L.A. show opening that confirmed the jumping of the shark for me, FYI.

Okay…enough of my two cents for today. Have a good one. Oh wait, one more thing check out the new clip to the right from 30 Rock. And if you are not watching this brilliant show already, please tune in!

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december 27, 2006...
So I was busy having an ‘Express’ morning – the subway came right away, lights were in my favor, the revolving doors at work revolved at just the right moment, my security pass worked (for once!) and the elevator opened right away. I walked into it and NO ONE was in there. Joy! I quickly pressed the ‘close door’ button a thousand times but it was to no avail because as the doors were about, ohhhh, an inch and a half from shutting, one small, very annoying knuckle appeared and then the tool it belonged to got into the elevator, followed by two more lackeys. To add insult to injury, they pressed floors 4, 5 and 6. I could almost see my illuminated 7 looking down at the other numbers sadly – as miserable as I was that our express run had been cancelled in the worst possible way. I glared at the inconsiderate man for 3 floors. Of course, if he was rude enough to get into the elevator in the first place, there is a 99.9% chance he had no clue that he was an ass. But maybe I’m being too harsh? No, I don’t think so. DO NOT stick your hand in an elevator door that is closing unless said elevator is the LAST ELEVATOR on the planet and you absolutely CANNOT wait another 40 seconds because you are profusely bleeding or you are late for something very, very important. OKAY? Do it for me.

But anyway… I haven’t written for almost 2 WEEKS again, so I must catch you all (and myself) up to speed. When last we spoke, it was the eve of La Victoria’s birthday. I am happy to report that, as usual, we had a great time.

The ridiculously varied group of eccentrics got along quite swimmingly and Vicky had, in total, 3 ex-boyfriends in attendance – 2 of whom posed with BFF for the picture you see below.

We went to Molly’s, of course, on 3rd, where we dined on Shepherd’s pie and downed Guinnesses by the dozen. Vicky’s ex-boyfriend, Scott, showed up with his current girlfriend and her friend, who proceeded to buy Vicky humongous shots of a very strong mystery drink.

Despite the mysterious shots and the multiple Guinesses, we were all standing at the end of the night – a very good thing for me, as my body doesn’t take kindly to hangovers anymore.

So that’s the story…another year, another great Kuhne birthday party!

What else? Well, last week, Ellen, Melissa and I went out for our “Holiday Dinner” (Ellen gave it a formal name) at Freeman’s on the lower East side. It was a long wait, but well worth it. Great service, excellent food, reasonable prices and lots of pretty people to look at. Afterwards, we went to Noah the hairstylist’s 'bad Christmas sweater' party in the East Village. (None of us won the contest for worst sweater, as we had nothing ugly to wear. Tragic.) I have pictures, but I haven’t downloaded them yet. I’ll have to include them in my New Year’s Entry. (Sorry Ellen, I know how you log on every day to see if they are up yet! Hehe.)

Also to come are pictures of dinner out with Anna, Donna and Anna’s brother. We went to this Moroccan place in the E. Village where Anna’s bro was accosted by a belly dancer and I partook in two puffs of some sort of bizarre tobacco contraption. (GROSS!)

Friday I spent hours and hours in seclusion doing recaps for the Whatever website and then Saturday morning I did last minute shopping and then met my cousin, Nicole, at Kleinfeld’s, where she picked out a GORGEOUS wedding dress (it ended up being the first one she tried on!). Strapless, lace bodice, champagne-colored, a-line, with an asymmetric sash pinned with a broach (how am I doing with the description, Elzer? It's Alvina Valenta). Anyway, it was very pretty – and for me to say that is a big deal because I HATE wedding dresses (don’t tell my friends at Brides mag).

So that was the week leading up to Christmas… So how were the holidays for all of you? Christmas at the Leo house was most excellent. Click on any of the pics on this page for the full KodakGallery album (same above for Vic's party pics). (Note: if you are wondering why my mother has a bruised and cut nose in the pics, my father said I was supposed to write that she “fell down some stairs.”

No, actually she had a fall that involved a vaccuum cleaner and a Santa Claus figurine – I won’t get into it here and, really, it’s just as shady as the falling-down-the-stairs excuse.) So – Christmas Eve was all about good food and very fun company…

Aunt Faye brought her iPod and her dancing shoes and she got everyone up dancing before the appetizers were even served. (It doesn’t take much to get our crew dancing, FYI.)

Nicole and Brian misbehaved, as usual, but this year they didn’t down a magnum of red wine, so there was only one food fight during dinner.

Billy the hobbit joined us for dinner as well. John took to calling him Smigel (sp?), after the creature in the Lord of the Rings. It was quite a fitting name for Billy. After all, Smigel is obsessed with the ring in much the same way that Billy is obsessed with his gold medallion. Billy added much to the evening, shouting out gems like, “Take your top off! All the girls should just get naked.” Ahhh Billy… thanks for putting the K in classy, as usual.

Before dinner, my father made a very long toast (it rivaled his ‘reconstruction’ of the events that led to my mother’s ‘fall’ in length), in which he noted that every single person sitting at the table had a different career or job. I think that when he got to me, he said that I just “did anything” – he said it with pride, though.

My mother was much calmer this year about the preparation. Most likely it was so that I wouldn’t JOKE about it in this year’s Christmas entry. (She still brings up last year’s entry every so often – MOM, ARE YOU READING THIS? How is your nose?)

I knew it was going to be a good year when mom decided NOT to put up the ceramic Christmas village under the tree. The ceramic peoples and houses of varying sizes and horrifically disproportionate scales may rear their heads next year, but this year it was just Jesus and co. and the manger under the tree. Not really the best place for Jesus and the crew, as “Fat” (what I call my mother’s big-ass cat) knocks the giant camel onto Mary and Joseph’s head at least 4 times a day with his Godzilla handpaws.

Anyway, that was that. Brian and I got some nice presents and some very interesting tchotchkes, including vibrating pink slippers, a talking Yankee keychain and a mini ping pong table (the last will prove very useful at our New Year’s party, I’m sure).

So that’s it – Christmas is over. I think Billy might still be in my parents’ kitchen, though. My father came upstairs on Sunday night and said, “Billy’s still down there. He’s passed out at the table.” I said, “You’re leaving him down there? Well, I hope he doesn’t kill me in the night.” My father wasn’t too concerned at the time and we all survived, so – I guess Smigel really is quite harmless after all.

Hope your holidays were nice and have a happy new year... yes all of that. Remember, if you are not doing anything on New Year’s – stop on by our apartment party for some white trash punch, Sal’s famous focaccia and some mini ping pong. You won’t be disappointed.

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december 15, 2006...
I'm tired. Just so tired. Everyone is bugging me about the dumbest things. Yesterday I cleaned the hell out of my room and closet (see pic below - I've managed to fit every last one of my damn belongings in this closet...obviously).

Anyway, I was cleaning until about 4:30am, because it's all or nothing with my stupid ass. Finally got to sleep around 5am, only to be woken up at 8am by the incoherent ramblings of my brother, who apparently just arrived home from a night out. My mother gave him a verbal beat down before she headed off to work and he called to complain about how unfair she was. His excuse had something to do with his friend Chris being unable to get his car because of some sort of police investigation that didn't even involve him and blah blah blah. I'm not going to go into specifics because it didn't make sense to me this morning and it doesn't make sense to me now. I told Brian it wouldn't hurt to employ logic and common sense once in a while. I couldn't go back to sleep after that, so, I took my aching bones and burning eyes out of bed and attempted to begin the day, only to be irritated by a barrage of unsavory emails.

It seemed that a visit to my local Rite Aid was all I needed to put me out of my misery, though. First, I brought my cholesterol prescription to be filled with my NEW insurance card and the pharmacist told me that the co-pay was only $30, as opposed to the $40 it was with Blue Cross. I was pleasantly surprised, as things like this rarely happen to me. I was ready for her to say that my co-pay was $60 or something like that. Wow, that was a BORING story. Anyway - THEN, as I was in aisle 2 trying to figure out how to get the Venus razors off the hook thingy (don't ask...I can't even

begin to explain why they were impossible to get off the hook, but they were...It was like trying to figure out a childproof medicine bottle), I heard these beautiful words over the loudspeaker: "Um...Jamal...(long pause)...can you find out if we have any chia pet herb gardens left?" I burst out laughing and my miserable mood almost disappeared. But then I remembered that I had been REJECTED for the ABC/Disney screenwriting fellowship. I've added that letter to my screenplay rejection file and I plan to tape all the rejections together and line the stage with them when I accept my Academy Award in 2037, FYI.

So I settled down to my bagel and coffee and opened the NY Post, only to find that one of my favorite bars, Siberia, was closing AGAIN. This dive bar is/was THE BEST. In its first incarnation, it was located downstairs in the 1-9 subway station on 50th street. Vicky, Ethan and I once spent an entire day in the bowels of that subway station bar playing punk tunes and drinking $3 beers in the dark while bullshitting with the cool owner, Tracy. Anyway, supposedly he is being kicked out again by another stupid landlord. If you like the bar as much as Vic and I do, there's a temp website/mailing list thingy set up here (or click on the pic below).

According to the article in the Post, Jimmy Fallon is a huge fan of the bar. Did I tell you guys that Jimmy Fallon was in MY fave restaurant, Penelope, last week when I was having lunch? So, basically, Jimmy Fallon is stalking me. Next thing you know, he'll be trying to play me in beer pong at Whiskey River. WTF, Jimmy? Get your own hangouts...unless you are going to bring Tina Fey along - then you can hang out with me and my friends whereva...wheneva. And comb your hair already...and tell your friends to wear socks with their Converse sneaks. It's all just so outrageous.

Anyway, tomorrow is Vicky's birthday. It will be a truly unique crowd, as usual, and I have no doubt that we will have a most excellent time. Long live La Victoria!!!

Oh and Jason, if you are reading... LOTS OF LOVE AND FEEL BETTER SOON!!!

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december 11, 2006...
Ew, it's Monday. It's Monday at 1:57am for me, actually, so I'll try not to confuse you too much with weird verb tenses as I pretend that it's really Monday proper. Not that I should have to pretend that it's Monday day because it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but it already seems dated if you are reading it in the A.M. and I wrote it 8 hours before, no? I don't know. What I do know is that if I don't post on this thing, my readers drop like flies. It's a catch-22, if you will. You don't log on, I don't feel an urgency to write...I don't write, you don't feel the need to log on. 10 days between blog posts and I'm looking at a 50% drop off rate. Dang...so there are only three of you now? Give a girl a holla.

Since last we spoke, I traveled to Pelham for a visit with the fabulous Payne family, where I was fed beef stroganoff by the plateful and got an education on a very popular children's toy/marketing scam called webkinz.It is entirely fascinating to see what genius sales ideas people are able to come up with.

Next, Melissa, Ellen and I had our holiday dinner with Jeff, Brad and Schwabe. The boys cooked, Schwabe surprised us with his homemade fireplace and then Schwabe and Jeff schooled us on Guitar Hero. (Now I want a Play Station, FYI - somebody stop me.) Oh and for all my air guitar and wannabe acoustic playing - I SUCKED at Guitar Hero. I'm determined to get better, though... just gotta get me a console. (I SAID - stop me.) Anyway, pictured below is Schwabe and Jeff showing us how it's done:

Caught up with the softball girls in Brooklyn recently. We went to this cute new Australian restaurant on 4th Avenue called Sheep Station.The food was reasonably priced and the meat pie was awesome, if you like that sort of thing. My vodka sour was crap, though, which was a problem because I switched to beer and I don't care that they say 'liquor before beer, in the clear' - I need some excuse for why I was doing running knee slides across the floor of the next bar we went to. It wasn't my fault, really. The DJ played Footloose. What choice did I have?

Had brunch with Barrie, Bill and little Will today. Barrie was trying to help me figure out my life plan. The latest is that I am going to start a business teaching tennis with my brother Brian (I have to figure out the details, of course, as Brian is too busy with his darts and beer drinking). Also, I'm going to purchase the house in the Scottish highlands that my great grandparents built (it's currently owned by some dude who lives in New Jersey, WTF?) and camp out there for 2 months of every year writing memorable, award-winning novels. Actually, I added the last part about the novels, I have to check with Barrie and make sure that is what is going to happen. So how does that sound? Of course I haven't forgotten about the teaching and the screenplay selling. Oh dear...if only I could focus.

Have a pleasant today.

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Melissa rocks out


Jeff and Brad are busy


Schwabe the Treemaster


In front of Schwabe's masterpiece


Babysitting Mace at The Living Room

Boozin' it up in Old Alexandria

Vicky hearts Frank

Catching up with Gretchen in DC

At Dana's wedding with Tommy & Brian
december 1, 2006...
Hey guys! Did you miss me? It's been almost a MONTH since I've blogged. You all know I've been busy. Bloomingdale's is KICKING MY ASS. I won't bore you with the details - it's really the same old, same old. I think I've gained some insight re: the violent impulses that some people have that cause them to do irrational things. I mean, I wanted so badly to put my fist through a wall a few times these past few weeks, but I refrained from doing so. (I suppose that is the difference between my brother and I. Poor Brian and his swollen knuckles...all because of a game of darts.) I guess the testosterone pushes the boys among us over the edge.

This past month Vic and I spent every Monday babysitting Maceo Crump at The Living Room while Jenny played her gigs there. Good times. Maceo is getting cooler and cuter by the second. He is only 14-months-old and he sings, dances, opens and closes CD cases and knows his French vowels. He tends to be intensely warm-blooded, though, and Vicky and I did get many disapproving stares when we sat with the shirtless boy during one show. You could just hear what they were thinking. A naked baby...in a bar! Tsk. Tsk. Whatever. Maceo has already been on stage with Bruce Springsteen and has traveled all over the country, so they can shut it.

Had a girls weekend up in Pennsylvania at Dana's house. Got to catch up with Ms. Bryden, in from Chicago, Dana, Seth, Jodi, Kate, Marty and all the kiddies. It's gonna be fun when all the babies start talking. Little Annie will teach them a lot, I'm sure. She's smarter than I am already - but that's not saying too much. Here are some pics from that weekend of Cecelia, the girls and Quinn teaching Cece a thing or two about the letter S. Oh, and P.S., I won't say a word about the fact that Seth is planning on buying a MINI-VAN. Yep, lips are sealed.

So, what else? OH - Thanksgiving! How could I forget? Well, actually, there's not much to tell. It was pretty good. Only two comments from mom about her granchildless state. I assured her that I did want to have kids at some point, but that they just don't fit into the game plan right now. She seemed "happy" with that. I was at home for four days, ate lots of turkey (which I don't find particularly appetizing, I don't know what all the fuss is about) and got to catch up with my cousin Nicole, WHO GOT ENGAGED! I'm her maid of honor, so we've got quite a bit to do...the date is set for Sept. 22nd.

Also went to a wedding of a good family friend, Dana, in the Bronx over the Thanksgiving weekend with Tommy Rutter and my bro, Brian. It was quite the event. The cocktail/hors d'eouvres (sp?) hour was most excellent, but I suppose that this, along with the prevalence of indoor fountains, is to be expected, as the place is allegedly run by the mafia. More eventful was the ride home we received from Brian's pothead friend (and Sal's Pizza delivery guy), Timmy. We barely escaped with our lives and almost ended up in Connecticut. Jesus H! It was also troubling that the minute we got into the souped up sedan, my brother turned into Eminem, spouting things like, "Yo Timmy, bust a right and shit..." Afterwards, I asked Brian why he had to speak like an idiot when he was around Timmy and he replied, "If I don't talk like that, Timmy won't understand me." Just to clarify, I said, "So Timmy would NOT understand if you said something like, "Turn right, Tim." Brian confirmed that Timmy would not understand a directive crafted in this manner. Sigh. There may be little hope for young Brian if he remains in Queens for much longer.

On that note, I'm going to call it a blog entry and go find something to eat. I hope you are all fabulous. Enjoy the apocalyptic weather we're having.

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november 7, 2006...
Hey, it's Election Day, people! You gonna vote? I was going to remain apathetic and cynical, but a friend at Bloomie's who shall remain nameless (STEPHANIE) was talking about voting and now I feel guilty. Anyway, I decided I would make an effort to find my polling station but wasn't sure which of my fourteen addresses I was registered to vote under. I called to find out at 1.866.VOTENYC (go here for more information if you live in NYC) and I was surprised to find out that I was registered under my CURRENT address, which is totally bizarre because I certainly did not register my new address with the Board of Elections. (I do not have it together enough to do such a thing.) How did it happen? Does anyone know? Is my apartment bugged? Is Dubya under my bed? What's going on...my own friends' address books are barely updated with my new address. Well, it is what it is, I suppose...and now I really have to vote because I KNOW where my polling station is. Whatever. For a great explanation of what midterm elections are, check out the cartoon sketch from The Daily Show on the left.

Enough about politics... Last night, Vicky and I went to see Jenny,who had a gig at The Living Room. (She will be playing there every Monday in November at 8pm, FYI. Go check her out.) Anyway, Victoria and I went to keep an eye on her adorable 14 month old, Maceo. Maceo decided he didn't really want to be there for the gig - something about being unimpressed by the venue (he is very elitist). So Vicky and I took Mace to The Pink Pony for a bite to eat. I enjoyed cheese in various forms, Vicky had wine and Maceo gorged on shoestring french fries and practiced saying the word "no". A good time was had by all.

I've been busy as of late, but this week is not as bad as last week, so I'm hoping to catch up on some emails, etc. If I owe you an email, expect one soon! Jason, I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. Vicky, I WILL get pictures of Frank up soon, I promise. (Did you bring your slippers to work?) Ellen, I hope the shoe shoot went/is going well.

Oh - I'm leaving for Pennsylvania this Thursday evening to see my college buds for our annual girls' weekend. Yes, we're cheesy like that and yes, we are proud of it! Dana is hosting the gathering and there will be cameo appearances from everyone's kids at certain points during the weekend. I've decided that since there will be kids there, I am going to bring my twins, Jamal and Antwonasia. Dana, I hope you have room!!! Jamal's almost as tall as me now!!!!

Catch you guys later. Have a great Election Day. May the least idiotic woman/man win!

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october 31, 2006...
Happy Halloween. You know, Halloween is usually my favorite holiday because it has nothing to do with religious pretense or spending large amounts of money on crap - and it incorporates Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. However, this year I just cannot summon the energy to get into it. Maybe my mood will improve later. Melissa's boyfriend, Jeff and his roommates are moving into their new apartment on the Lower East Side tonight and I'm sure they'll want to take in a bit of the New York Halloween scene - the Greenwich Village parade, etc. Perhaps I could rally for that? I dunno. Vicky and I always used to go see Ethan's band, Redtime, on Halloween, but I haven't heard of any gig happening. Waaaah. I have to squeeze in a Whateverradio recap at some point, too, so we'll see what happens later.

Yesterday was an absolute disaster here at Bloomie's. Incompetence reached peaks of enormous proportions. I can't get into it because it'll just bore you all, but I did compare notes with Melissa last night - she's been dealing with similar degrees of inefficiency and incompetence at her own place of work. We discussed the fact that the ratio of people who suck and can't make an effin decision to save their lives to intelligent, proactive, useful people is TOO BIG. And, somehow, the people who suck always make it to the upper echelons of management. Why is

this, you may ask? Well, it's because the proactive, useful people get discouraged and disgruntled after years of dealing with the people who suck and they just throw up their hands and give up. Their initial inclination to be proactive gives way to a who-gives-a-f#&@ attitude and then this becomes a pattern that is difficult to escape from. The idiots make it to management because they just don't know any better and no one else can be bothered. Generally speaking, the most qualified people are not in positions of power because they are too intimidated by the big picture. Of course this is not universally true. People like FDR, Bill Gates, Churchill, Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs, Rupert Murdoch and Martha Stewart (yes, I know that's a bizarre list...it's off the top of my bizarre head) were/are strong, creative decision makers who rose/rise above the mediocre as well as those of us who didn't/don't have the strength or ambition to affect change (I think I shall include myself in the latter category) - but is that IT?

And why is it that the majority of people in power cannot make decisions anyway? Come ON already! Hemming and hawing and changing things at the last minute and blah blah blah. Yes, changing and editing is good, when necessary. But it often seems that managers change things just to make sure everyone knows who the boss is. Booooring. A good manager knows when they should NOT change something. You know, if I worked for a competent individual, I'd move the world for them...I know I would. As it stands, I would like to DROP an effing planet on these corporate bosses' heads.

Hmmmm... I think we just figured out why I am not in the mood for Halloween this year! Who needs therapy when you've got a BLOG. Thanks for letting me vent!

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october 26, 2006...
So I'm at work (Bloomie's), and Ricardo just sent me new copy for his "Ramblings" column to the right. Turns out said copy is kind of time-stamped, because he mentioned that he and I are playing in our first round of softball playoffs for the National Bank of Canada tomorrow. I feel obligated to post his copy because it is time sensitive and NOW I feel obligated to include my OWN new copy because if you think it's MY same entry from October 18, you'll assume that Rico's ramblings have not changed either and you won't read his gorgeous prose. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the three of you that check this are thinking, "I was SO not caring either way...I was just bored at work and logged on just to watch the Volvo commercial again." Yeah...don't deny it.

Still working like a dog... Who came up with that saying anyway? Vicky is taking care of a big fat pug dog named Frank, and he certainly doesn't do any work. He just hauls his butt up on Vicky's bed and snores all day. Maybe we should change it - say something like "still working like a prarie dog" (they are a pretty busy breed) or "still working like a sled dog." Alert the lame phrase people, we have a CHANGE! Yeah, so...almost blew my damn brains out last week - no sleep, Bloomingdale's work driving me up the wall, etc. Boring.

Was in Little Neck last night to have dinner with my parents and Liz and Chuck - dear family friends I have not seen in 5 years. (Pictures to come, once I get my act together.) It was great to see them. Liz is a big fan of the blog and she mentioned this fact over dinner. My mother told the story of how she didn't read the blog because of the Christmas entry. I told her the Christmas entry had since been removed from the site. It was quite clear that the 2006 Christmas blog was and will always be a point of contention, so I just dropped the subject. Anyway, seeing Liz and Chuck again made me realize how much I missed them, so it will NOT be 5 years before I see them again. (Didya "hear" that one, Lizzeeee?)

I was also in Little Neck over the weekend and, for the life of me, I cannot remember why. (That's my Alzheimer's creeping in...and I'm serious...my grandmother has it and I already have her high cholesterol and every other annoying genetic malfunction she has so you KNOW I'm getting the big A. I'm not making light of it, I'm just sayin'...hang out with me while I STILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE.) OMG - duh...It was Simone's baby shower...how the


At the Indigo Girls show recently


Jeff and the boys are moving to NYC!

HELL could I forget THAT? Simone was my first best friend. We've known each other for 25 years. TWENTY FIVE YEARS. Holy crap. That's a long time. Anyway, Simone's having a little baby (what? as opposed to a gigantic baby?) and I hung out with her and her mom for HOURS. Yours truly was yapping the whole time. Big surprise. It was great to catch up with them, too. I haven't seen Simone since my fabulous 30th birthday bash. Sinful. I usually do an excellent job keeping in touch with people but this paragraph says that I am a sucky friend. Oh well, we'll blame it on the Alzheimer's.

Okay, I think that's enough for now. I must get back to my housewares ad. All-Clad® cookware copy waits for no one. Ta-ra!

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october 18, 2006...
Hey guys...been busy again. I know, blah blah blah. Can I just vent for a moment!? If you read this site regularly, there's a good chance you may have heard this story already (sorry!) but - Why is it that of the FIVE copywriters at Bloomingdale's, the one who is only in the office 3 1/2 days a week has the hugest workload? I mean, WTF? How does that help anyone? It sucks for me, obviously, but how does it help Bloomingdale's if ads that are on-deadline are rotting in a corner on the FREELANCER'S desk because some idiot can't read a post-it on my computer screen that says, "Out Today". It's also really annoying that I'm expected to double-check to see if what the buyers tell me to change/correct should actually BE changed/corrected. What happened to people actually doing their OWN jobs. I have no time to babysit other professionals. Do your job, people!

Ok...I feel better now. So, last Friday, Ellen, Melissa, Amanda and I went to see the Indigo Girls at Radio City Music Hall. Although we were a little disappointed with the girls' chosen set list (why must they ALWAYS play "Rosalynn" and NEVER play "Hope Alone" or "Strange Fire"...wah), they played the obligatory "Power of Two", "Closer to Fine" and "Galileo", so we were happy little hoarse campers by the time it was all over. Their new CD, Despite our Differences, is pretty damn good, BTW. Check out the very fun song they do with Pink, "Rock and Roll Heaven's Gate" and imagine me air drumming my little heart out to it, because that's what happens every. time. I. hear. it. (Loser).

Sunday morning, I went with Vicky, Sarah and Sarah's adorable little 6-year-old, Xander, to see Brooke in her newest incarnation - Mary Alice, the somewhat dense, lovable fairy sidekick to Lori in Lori Lori, What's the Story,a traveling kids show of sorts. Think Romper Room meets the Magic Garden. She was pretty hilarious and all the kids were really into the whole thing. And Xander had a huge crush on Brooke by the end of it all, even though he was trying desperately NOT to be into the whole thing because he is, after all, 6 years old.

After the show, I ventured to the Upper West side to visit with Barrie, Bill and little Will. We had a nice l lunch and then went to the park for an hour or so. Kids are pretty damn funny - it's interesting to watch their interactions with each other. You can tell immediately who the quiet, dork is gonna be and who is going to be the center of attention. It's kind of sad sometimes, when you just know the kid's gonna face years of harrassment at the hands of obnoxious peers. Luckily, Will will not, because...well, I just know. He's already got a good throwing arm, too...and that bodes well for our baseball lessons. Here is well-adjusted Will:


Speaking of well-adjusted young ones, Dana sent me a Halloween card thingy that had Cecelia dressed as Yoda. It was the cutest frickin' thing ever. I have to share:

The Mets are playing their do-or-die game tonight so I'm kind of watching it right now. Jose Reyes hit a lead off home run to start things off. Nice. Just to keep things somewhat Yankee, let me just say again - GO WILLIE RANDOLPH! Actually, I just really hope the Mets win because I want a Mets/Tigers series. If the Cards make it through, it'll be so boring.

Anyway...I guess I will get off this damn computer now...I've been on it doing recaps and photo resizing for whateverradio.com and the like for hours today and my eyes are burning. Gotta go to Bloomie's tomorrow morning (Thursday - TODAY, for most of you) so I need to chill out and do NOTHING for a while before the onslaught of the idiocy begins again.

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october 13, 2006...
Hey, it's Friday the 13th. How 'bout that? Who is superstitious? I don't have the attention span to be superstitious so it is not a problem for me. I've been M.I.A. again because I've been working at Bloomie's and recapping for whateverraadio.com. Log on and check out the 'shows' page and you can see what's going on.

So, since we last 'spoke' the weather has turned crisp and cool! I played softball last weekend with the Park Slope girls and couldn't WALK for three days afterwards. WTF is up with that? Not only is my brain incapable of retaining information, my body is also incapable of remembering that I PLAYED SOFTBALL 2 AND 2 TIMES A WEEK FOR 5 MONTHS. Geez... It was really horrible to have to gimp around Bloomingdale's. The printers are about a friggin football field away from my desk and I have way more than my fair share of Office Space printer moments that make me have to journey all the way back to my endzone to hit PRINT again. Exhausting.

I went to see Carol and Mike's new little girl, Angela, last weekend as well. She slept and ate for hours and hours...LUCKY. She is an adorable combo of Carol and Mike...I can't tell who she looks like. Maybe you can:

So yeah...got to meet Angie and watched the Yanks lose to Detroit at Carol's house. It was quite painful. Oh and speaking of the Yankees, OMG about Cory Lidle. I seriously cannot believe what happened! What are the friggin odds of the accident involving someone you know of and a NY Yankee at that...it's too tragic for words. I am just glad that no one else was killed. That poor woman whose apartment took the brunt of the impact had burns on 15% of her body. Yeesh. A horrible thing...also terrible is the fact that the damn plane got that close to a building in NYC without being detected. So - you can't bring shampoo on a plane, but you can FLY a damn plane, sans flight plan, just a few yards away from city cuildings. Comforting. This is why there is actually no point in worrying about ANYTHING. If something is going to happen, it's just going to happen, whether you have been worrying about it or not.

In better baseball news, the Mets won last night. Just as an FYI, I'm watching for Willie and because I love baseball, I am not rejecting my Yankees for their VERY DISAPPOINTING loss to Detroit. (I am very happy that Joe is staying on as

manager, too.) Anyway, I didn't see the whole game because I was watching Six Degrees, this new show I really like on ABC. I did catch the last three outs of the game and 2nd baseman Valentin made a very Jeter-esque defensive play to make the second out. The thing is, the throw was a one-hopper to the first baseman, and I was thinking that Jeter makes that play from SHORTSTOP on NO-HOP. Basically, Jeter's superman status was confirmed once again - in my mind, anyway. Yeah so, even when it's about the Mets, it's about the Yankees. Go Wille Randolph!

Alrighty...gonna go enjoy this crisp day and get some things done around here. No Bloomie's today! And Ellen, Melissa and I are going to see the Indigo Girls later at Radio City. Good times. Have great weekends, everyone!

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Kate and Angela


Three generations


Angie and I watch the Yanks LOSE


Looking sultry at In Vino


Where's the cheese at?


La Victoi - working the E. Village

october 6, 2006...
It's been about three weeks and I haven't updated the blog. Donna wrote in to complain that she was bored in Jakarta and when she logged in, she was supremely disappointed to find that I had not updated this site. I'm sorry, D! So let's get back to the fact that Donna is in JAKARTA. Jakarta! She is there with her architectural firm. (Because in addition to being a pilot, writer and photographer, Donna has to show us all up and also be a fabulous architect... WHATEVER). You'll never hear something like, "I'm in Milwaukee on business..." come out of Donna's mouth. She is always in Kuwait or Dubai or some other land that has lots of vowels in the name.

I've pretty much been M.I.A. because I've been working on Alexis and Jennifer's website whateverraadio.com. Go check it out. I've been content editing, recapping shows and posting pictures and the like, in addition to working at Bloomie's, so I haven't had any free time and I only just recently got more than 4 hours of sleep in an evening - last night! I'm absolutely not complaining... it's good to be busy, Bloomie's isn't too torturous, and y'all know I love working on websites. I'm just explaining why you've been neglected!

The BIG news I have is that Carol and Mike had their baby! A girl! My softball roster is almost complete! Angela Ann McDonough was born on Friday, September 28. She was 8 lbs 6 ozs and 21 and 1/2 inches, says Mike. Why do people get so specific with those size stats? Maybe it's to remind men around the world that they should be respecting their wives/girlfriends/mothers just a leeeetle bit more. It's as heavy as a damn bowling ball, for God's sake! And a bowling ball doesn't have squirming arms and legs - certainly something to think about. More power to you, Dana, Kate and Carol...ouch. Anyway, here is a picture of the little munchkin:

Last night I went to this excellent restaurant with Vicky and BFF, In Vino. The wine was to-die-for, as was the cheeeeeeeeeese. Beyond tasty. I haven't seen BFF in ages, so it was great to catch up. We wandered around the E. Village for a minute, where I snapped the ever so come-hither picture of La Victoi that is to the left and then we went to this little dive bar, because BFF has a friend on every corner in NYC that he "pops in" to say hi to. BFF is truly the mayor of the Lower East Side. Anyway, to amuse ourselves at this bar, Vicky and I proceeded to take a ton of pictures of ourselves, all of which we thought were DISGUSTING and deleted, save for one. See below...and I'm not referring to the pic of our grandpa shoes & socks. Isn't that GROSS!? We were sitting there and I looked at our shoes and saw we were both wearing the most manly brown shoes with thin black socks! All we were missing were pipes, wrinkly faces, mean grimaces and a cranky "When I was your age..." story and Milton Berle would have nothing on us. Milton Berle? WTF?! Where the hell did that come from? My mind is a scary place.

Gotta go find something to eat, but before I go, let me just say GO YANKEEEEEEEEES! Hope you are all watching the games and aren't distracted by the football!!! Have great weekends.

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september 22, 2006...
All of my worlds are colliding this a.m., as the Yankees have officially reached an agreement to make the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons their Triple-A affiliate. Bye bye Columbus! Now, this news really doesn't technically affect me in the least (nor does it probably interest you very much), but it just makes me happy to know that the next Derek...the next Mariano...the next Bernie - will be only 2.5 hours away and living in the place where I spent 4 of the best years of my life thus far. (Story here.)

So yesterday I played softball on godforsaken Roosevelt Island with my NBOC team (our rightfielder has some new thoughts to share, FYI - see "Rico's Ramblings"). We played a kind of blah game and lost 7�3...our first LOSS! Our uniforms looked better than the other team's, though...so that's something, no? These pics taken on the R.I. tram after the game:

Last night was the premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Do you guys watch that show? I don't actually watch it, but Melissa and Ellen are obsessed with it, so I kind of watch it by default, popping in to the living room from time to time when they start squealing about something. Last night, we found out that Dr. McPatrick McDempsey loved fishy face Meredith. Duh...didn't we already know that? The show is actually pretty good, I'm just not the biggest fan of Patrick Dempsey and two of the other leads (Izzy and Meredith). I think that's probably why I am not as hard core as THESE two. Here they are last night, reacting to McPatrick's McSpeech to fishy face (they're gonna kill me for posting this):

After Grey's was over, another show premiered - Six Degrees. It was actually really good. It's based on the whole notion that we are all connected to one another by 6 degrees. Sounds clich�, but it works because the characters are interesting and the dialogue's decent. It's produced by JJ Abrams, and now that my beloved Alias is off the air, I'll need another Abrams outlet. This just might be it. Plus, it's set in NYC, and it's always nice to watch the goings-on of your own city on the tube.

Alrighty then...I'm not at Bloomingdale's today. Gonna go find some food and get something accomplished today. It's Friday, people...SMILE.

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september 21, 2006...

The Yankees Clinch the American League East Title!
Yeah baby! It was unfortunate that they didn't get to CLINCH it clinch it, but a winning record is a winning record, people. I don't wanna hear any noise about "backing in" to the title from Mets fans, Red Sox fans or rabid Canadians (DUSTIN!). I think that the Yanks record is the same as the Mets record right now, anyway...isn't it? I could be wrong...but I don't feel like looking it up. Anyway, there has been some talk that Giambi dissed A-Rod in some Sports Illustrated article that's hitting newstands soon. I hate to think that there is strife in my beloved clubhouse. I'll have to wait and read the article, and then I'll give you my assessment. I know you'll be waiting anxiously.

I've decided to employ PARAGRAPHS! You see, I've come to realize that one humongous paragraph is intimidating and almost stressful to read...especially when said paragraph consists of disconnected ramblings. This decision might help with the whole bad segue situation. I just WON'T segue if I can't figure out a way to do so. That's lazy, but I don't care.

I'm busy today at Bloominghell's and most of the peeps here are going on a corporate field trip at noon to the new store that is opening in Bergen County, New Joizey, so I have to get some stuff done before they leave and must cut this entry short. If you feel that these three small PARAGRAPHS (yay!) are just not satisfying enough, check out yesterday's rant re: how to walk properly on NYC streets. Everyone should be aware of these walking rules - for my sake.

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september 20, 2006...
Yanks won last night, so their magic number is ONE! And that's all I'll say about THAT...don't wanna jinx 'em.

I missed Vicky's National Bank of Canada office shenanigans last night because of my scratchy throat. Apparently, quiz night was a huge success and Vicky is proud (and relieved) to report that everyone kept their clothes on.

Excellent news, indeed. You'll notice that some of Dana's pics from Cecelia's christening are up. How cute is her damn kid?? And look at Tommy's little pudge of a boy! I cannot believe that just a few (well, 9!) years ago, Seth and Tom were hosting keg parties in their dirty old mansion of a house in Scranton, PA. What a trip! Now, they are not only responsible for providing beer for their respective households, they are also responsible for guiding a human being through the triumphs and travails of existence. Wow.

Anyway, I'm still feeling a little crappy, but i really have to go to boxing tonight because there is an expiration date to my classes and I am totally behind. The problem is, though, that I went Monday and one of the trainers, Isaac, tortured a bunch of us with upper body exercises to such a degree that I can barely turn around in my chair, much less go through another hour-and-a-half of beating bags, jump-roping and shadow boxing. Let's just pray that we do legs tonight.

Speaking of excessive exercise, Melissa was saying last night that one of her goals in the next year is to train for and run a half marathon and I told her that I would do it with her. I'm exhausted just thinking about it, but now that I said I would do it out loud, I HAVE to. So that's that.

New York City is awash with diplomats and el presidente de las estados unidos and his peeps. There are all kinds of cops and military men carrying all sorts of weapons around. It's mildly disturbing when I actually remember to pay attention to it. I don't get it, though. I mean, the other day there were all of these police escorts being given to "official vehicles" and they were moving at about a block a minute, thanks to rush hour traffic, etc. Exactly how are the diplomats supposed to be protected when they are in the middle of gridlock? Any one of the buses flying by them or the freaks on bikes weaving in and out of cars could be suspicious. So i guess the cops are really just for show, no? Que sera sera, I suppose.

What's a little less disturbing, but gives me pause, is the fact that people do not know how to walk on public sidewalks. In New York, you should walk as if you were driving. This is not an OPINION, this is how it SHOULD BE. Walk on the right. If you are strolling, stroll to the far right or find a damn park to stroll in. Whatever you do, do not enter fast moving people traffic and then walk at a slow pace. If you need to get something out of your bag, don't just stop cold and rifle through your things in the middle of the sidewalk. Move. Off. To. The. Side. If you are moving laterally to your left or right, you must give a quick glance over your shoulder to see if there is someone immediately behind you � as if you were changing lanes in a car. If you are walking a dog, reign the puppy in when people come near so they don't have to step over the leash or walk way around you. If you are a group of three or more people walking side-by-side, consider that on most NYC streets, YOU ARE COMPLETELY IN THE WAY. Pay attention to poor slobs that are trying to get around your human blockade and fall into a single-file pattern until they pass. If you are walking directly towards someone, choose your side immediately so there is no "dance of confusion". (It often helps to choose your side and then focus your eyes on that side of the sidewalk so the other person understands that you have committed and there is no other option but to take the other side, lest they slam into you.)

Hmmm. I think that's it. If I've missed anything, let me know. In the meantime, check out "Rico's Ramblings" to your right. It's an uncensored column (I only edited it a tiny bit, Suave)...from the desk of Ricardo the Bullrunner. Have a Wednesday.

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september 19, 2006...
Good morning and a big shout out to the Mets, who clinched the NL East last night with a 4�0 victory over the Florida Marlins. You see, unlike some Yankee-hating Mets fans, I am a true baseball fan and I can appreciate the fabulous season the Mets have had this year. I applaud them heartily for their efforts. (Plus, I love Willie Randolph, a Yankee if there ever was a Yankee, so I am, of course, rooting for his success.) Of course, if the Yankees and the Mets play each other in the U.S.(and sometimes Canada) Series (I refuse to say World because it makes no sense), I�ll be back shouting for some pinstripe victories, but I�m not going to be hating on Willie and the gang at any point in time. So, go Mets and go Yankees � A-Rod and Jeter both had two-run homers last night and the boys just got by 7-6 against Toronto, no thanks to the bullpen�Mariano, when are you coming back!? Anyway�you know how I was discussing E.Coli yesterday? Well, last night I�m sitting eating my MIXED GREEN salad at Vicky�s house, and midway through it, it occurs to me that I�m eating BABY SPINACH. WTF? I�m so retarded. I�ll probably have E.Coli any minute now�someone look up the symptoms, Right now, I have a slight sore throat and I�m really tired. Of course the tired thing could have something to do with the fact that I went to bed at 3am last night FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I am my own worst nightmare. You�ll notice that Ricardo�s picture is still up on the site. This is because - A. Dana�s pictures arrived too late to make the �morning edition� of this blog (they�ll be up tomorrow, D) and B. Ricardo is still awesome. (I�ve offered him a column, FYI.) Also, I need to make a correction � Rico�s outfit is a bullrunning outfit, not a bullfighting outfit. I�m very sorry if this mistake offended any bullfighters and/or bullrunners. Now I�m feeling woozy� did someone look up the E.Coli symptoms yet? C�mon� find out if I�m dying while I still have health insurance. Hop to it!

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september 18, 2006...
It's Moooonday. And how are we all today? You'll notice that there is a man dressed in a bullfighter's outfit to your left. (No, not your ACTUAL left, Ellen, ON THE SCREEN.) Said man is Ricardo, my friend and softball teammate from the National Bank of Canada. (The picture is on loan from Ms. Victoria Kuhne's archives.) Anyway, today we are honoring Rico because he has been neglected as of late. Yes, today we celebrate the man who conquered the bulls, plays left field like Melky and is a legend on the NYC club scene. Cheers, Ricardo. September 18th will henceforth be known as Suave Day. In other news, there is E.Coli in all of the spinach! Ugh...spinach is one of my favorite foods! Nothing better happen to CHEESE or I'll have nothing to eat. Alexis and Jennifer were discussing E.Coli in there radio show on Friday (check out their new website at whateverradio.com, btw) and were questioning whether the E.Coli microbe could actually make its way into the root of the spinach as well as whether E.Coli could be killed when the spinach was cooked. All of these people called in with "definite" answers and all of their answers were different. This is just another example of how we all just repeat what we hear without questioning whether what we are hearing is actually true. Sad. But what isn't sad (my best segue yet, no?), is that I finally saw Cecelia Grace Rosencrance this weekend!!! I went to PA for the little one's christening. There are no pics up today because I mostly took pics for Dana and Seth with their camera, so you'll have to wait until Dana sends me her Shutterfly link (which will probably be in five minutes, so you won't have to wait long). Cecelia is an excellent baby - I totally approve. She is beautiful and obviously smart and she already rolls her eyes and makes other sarcastic expressions. We are not BFFs yet, as she is still suspicious of why I had an odd shaped head with strange markings on my forehead (I was wearing my Yankees hat). Anyway, we'll be friends soon, I'm sure of it. Sort of speaking of the Yankees, they lost 3 out of 4 in their series with the Red Sox. Tragic. Villone and Myers ruined their lead last night and freakin' Coco Crisp (what the HELL is that name about?) stole a 2-run HR from Jorgie Posada. Ugh. Enough about that. Okay, I actually have things to do here so I must depart. Long live Rico the Bullfighter!!!

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september 13, 2006...
The Yankees schooled Tampa Bay last night, I got more than 4 hours of sleep and no one at Bloomie's has bugged me about anything too stupid this morning. So far, so good. I can't say the same for the woman who spilled her entire large Starbucks coffee all over the herself and the lobby floor this a.m. It was quite the tragic sight, especially because the woman, who I know well and often have to deal with, is this tragic creature who is mildly crazy and prone to having mini nervous breakdowns in the office. So Fashion Week is going on in New York now and I just can't bring myself to care. It's all anyone talks about in this office. I passed up an invite to go to a show yesterday...I can't for the life of me remember whose show it was. I just don't get what all the hoopla is about. I mean, I am fan of quality clothing that is well-designed (not that I actually OWN any), but really...Anna Wintour struts around like she is a God and it's all so ridiculous. Actually, maybe it COULD be an interesting and inspiring diversion, if only there was less ATTITUDE. Yes, that's it...it's the attitude that turns me off. Designers and celebrity suck-ups cavort in VIP tents celebrating collections of thousand dollar cotton t-shirts, among other things, while the planet is going to hell and some poor soul in a third world country can barely find fresh water to drink. Now, I am not saying there is anything wrong with celebrating clothing and artistry and all of that, and hell, if you wanna buy a thousand dollar t-shirt, that's your business, but I'm just saying that the pompous attitude needs to go. Okay? Anna, are you listening?? Take those damn sunglasses off and look me in the eyes! Ironically enough, I'm headed to Cond� Nast to have lunch with Ryan, Sally and maybe Nancy in a couple hours so I'll probably run into some divas grabbing a grape or two for lunch before they hit the afternoon shows. But then again, I'm headed to the Third Avenue location of the company, not the Mothership at 4 Times Square, so I might be spared the stiletto onslaught. One can only hope.

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Celebrating our victory


Don't ask


Q&A, on vacay


The mighty, mighty Titans


My picks for MVP!


Cecelia, you're breakin' my heart

september 12, 2006...
So I'm swamped at Bloomie's, what with the whole Columbus Day 5 Day Home Sale coming up and all (when is Columbus Day, anyway? And why do we celebrate some dude who accidentally discovered someplace. I accidentally discover stuff all the time. Just the other day I discovered that there was a little wall to hit tennis balls off of in the ghetto park around the corner from me. I don't see my name on the wall or anything...probably because said wall was already there and other people had hit balls against it before I did...). Anyway, the point I was/am trying to make is that I'm busy, so I can't write much today. (All evidence is already to the contrary, of course, including this aside.) I find though, that if I stop writing for even one day, people like my good friend and TITAN teammate, Anna Moody, stop logging on. Sigh... Speaking of the Titans...WE WON BOTH THE LEAGUE TITLE AND THE SEASON-ENDING TOURNAMENT this past weekend. It was intense. Donna pitched 3 amazing games and the rest of us rallied to come up with some fine offense. We were like the Yankees! Everyone was rooting against us, but we just kept winning. Victory was so sweet. I going to go into softball withdrawal any minute now. The bruises on my knees and shins are already fading. It's very sad. Oh well...I guess I can focus completely on rooting for a Yankees post-season now. I was irate this morning after reading about what David Ortiz said re: Derek and the MVP title. Since Jeter was characteristically classy and simply replied,"We are trying to win the AL East, no one cares about individual titles," I must defend him properly. Mr. Ortiz needs to get a clue. He's this huge guy who plays no position and just blasts balls out of stadiums. Boooooring. That's not what the MVP should be about. Derek's season average and on-base percentages are sky-high and he can always be counted on. Plus, I bet he has contributed to more team wins with his stellar defense than Ortiz has contributed with his stellar offense. Unfortunately, there are no numbers for how many potential runs a guy threw out with awe-inspiring throws to first base made while flying through the air. What more can you ask for? David Ortiz, I just lost all respect for you, and so did your former teammate, Johnny Damon, who said, "You['ve] got to see Derek do the job. He gets clutch hits and plays Gold Glove shortstop. I am going to choose my teammate." That's coming from another guy of MVP-caliber. David, your runs mean nothing anyway, because your team is 10 1/2 games back so STEP. OFF. Alrighty then...I guess I was pissed off about that. Okay, I'm staring at this picture of a bunch of pots and I gotta go DISCOVER if they are stainless steel or not. Have a nice Tuesday.

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september 6, 2006...
I'm experiencing this thing late at night when I'm at the computer - I start to get mildly anxious and feel a little lightheaded. I think my computer is officially making me ill. It's not surprising. I mean, I get up and the first thing I do - THE FIRST THING - is turn on the computer. I do this because I have to eject my iPod Nano from iTunes at some point before I begin my commute (that's what I tell myself, anyway). I get to work about a half hour later and immediately turn on my computer there. Then I sit at that computer for 8 hours and once I'm home I'm on my damn computer AGAIN! What is wrong with me!?!?! Maybe I'll stop being so OCD once I finish this book I'm reading � it's called The Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Science and our Day-to-Day Lives. I just started it...it's basically about what it says it's about. I find Buddhism to offer fascinating perspectives on life. I agree with one of the tradition's central precepts that one should not believe something simply for the sake of believing it, but should place a strong emphasis on rational inquiry. Anyway, I'm not saying that I'm going to move to Tibet or anything, I'm just checking things out. I'll let you know how it goes. (I just reread those last few sentences and I sound like I'm writing a term paper...DORK. That reminds me, do you know I once told Vicky and Christy that I didn't cut class in college because I didn't trust anyone else's notes?! WOW. Is that not the most BORING thing you've ever heard?) Oh well...what else? How about Suri Cruise? She's gonna be in the new Vanity Fair that hits newsstands today. I guess that means she either really does exist, or they have a kid on loan from the local Scientology asylum. We'll see. The new pics that are up on the page today are from this past weekend. Friday night we had softball practice in a monsoon and I had drinks and dinner with Donna and Anna in fabulous Brooklyn. (Vodka sours are simply divine, btw.) Saturday, I was at the Yankee game BY MYSELF, in the freezing cold rain. They lost...and I didn't even get one of the skull caps they were giving out -waaah. Went to the U.S. Open with Ellen and her family on Saturday night. We got to see a great match between James Blake and some dude and also caught a Sharapova match. Sharapova, incidentally, was wearing her trademark dangly earrings and a very bizarre, sequined outfit that she allegedly collaborated on with Nike. She looked like a reject from one of those reality shows �Skating with the Stars or Dancing with Celebrities or Watching TV with Monkeys or whateverthehell is going on on Network television these days. It's just wrong...it's all wrong - everything to do with MTV and David Hasselhoff and DebORAH Gibson trying to ice skate...or was she on the dancing show? I don't even know why I know that she was on one of those shows. OSMOSIS! Ugh. But back to my point... I think I had one. The tennis players on the women's tour need some fashion advice. Their outfits are either BEYOND boring or TOTALLY offensive. Can we find a happy frickin' medium already? I just don't understand it. Anyway, the matches were great and I loved hanging out with Ellen and her fam, but it was DAMN COLD up there in the rafters of Arthur Ashe Stadium. "Stupid-the-idiot," of course, was wearing shorts. My only solution for keeping warm was to bag my feet (see pic). Monday I had a nice brunch with Barrie, where I got to see her son Will. Will is an old soul already...he knows too much. You can see it in his crystal blue eyes. Ah Will...you will be my little Buddha. Watched the Yankees clobber the Royals on Monday night (we won't talk about yesterday's outing) and now it's back to writing copy blocks about luxury mattresses and elegant coffeemakers. Happy Wednesday!

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Will is wise beyond his months


He's no Jeter, but he's a keeper.


At the U.S. Open with some Heislers


Beyonc� ROCKS


A rare photo of my parents on bikes


Apparently, sexy is back


Taking a break from the dancing


Partying after our 13-6 romp

september 1, 2006...
I had so many things to say and now I can't remember one of them. Oh well...I'll just have to see what's up there in the brain right now. OH - Vicky's boss, a hyper, non-stop talker who looks like Gene Wilder, goes to a gynecologist who HAPPENS TO BE HER BROTHER. How gross is that? I've never heard of such a thing! That's practically incest, no? I don't want to know ONE THING about anyone in my family's 'equipment' and I'm sure there's a big ole VICE VERSA there. Yeesh. 'Pass the turkey, sis...and I've been meaning to talk to you about your pap smear.' EWWWW, Wilder...get a clue. So Monday was the taping of The Ellen Degeneres Show season premiere in Central Park. I put some pics up. Sorry they are not better. I photoshopped them but the zoom on my digital camera sucks. I also put up pics from my softball team's last game. I'll have you know that we finished FIRST in our league, baby. REMEMBER THE TITANS! YEAH! They counted us out...they put us down...but we stepped it up. A few more practices to go, then the playoffs and then we're done. (Are you HAPPY, Vicky!?) I might go into softball withdrawal. Thankfully I still have another team to play with through October. The Canadian bankers will keep the dream alive. Speaking of ball, my Yankees finished 2-1 in their series with Detroit. BabyDaddy was fabulous, as usual, and A-Rod actually made contact with the ball THREE times. Let's hope he's out of his slump. OH - I remember what I wanted to mention - I saw some of the MTV Video Music Awards last night and I was soooo embarrassed for most of those people. Save for superstars like Beyonc� and Christina, the night was a night of ragamuffin musicians that were just kind of staggering up to the stage and saying unintelligible things. I forget which band it was, but they walked up sharing a whiskey and the frontman goes, "I'm gettin' WASTED tonight." Maybe I'm just getting old, but all I could think of was, 'Oh his poor mother...how embarrassed she must be.' And THEN, cute little Abigail Breslin, from that amazing movie Little Miss Sunshine, was up there PRESENTING an award with FERGIE and again I found myself thinking, 'How could her mother say YES to her agent and allow her to do this!?' BAD MOVE mama! She's gonna be exposed to all sorts of stuff she doesn't need to know anything about right now and will probably share the same fate as Lindsay Lohan - MARK. MY. WORDS. MAMA. Anyway, also on this horrible telecast, that comedian who I can't decide if I like or not, Sarah Silverman (is that her name?), was making fun of Paris Hilton and I found myself feeling SORRY for Paris. Now, after making fun of Ms. Hilton in my previous two blog entries, am I a hypocrite for chastising someone else for making fun of her? Probably. But I will say that I make fun of her for having nothing of any substance to SAY. I don't make fun of her for wasting money, partying non-stop and refraining from eating. Some of those things are just below the belt, no? Yeah, so I thought Silverman was just plain mean. Maybe there's a difference. Maybe I'm just kidding myself. Anyway, I have to go. Darryl and Stephanie are starving. Enjoy the long weekend.

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august 29, 2006...
I am in Little Neck and about to leave with the 'rents to go to the Poconos. It's raining, and we are driving up to the Poconos...for one day. That's all I'll say about that. So there was a furor over my comments about Tom Cruise and "Celebrities" recently. This 'furor' occurred in my own head, of course. It occurred this morning, actually. I suppose I felt a bit guilty...about what I am still not sure, but I think that's what happens here in this house. The guilt permeates your skin...you don't even notice it and you're thinking - the toilet roll is almost out...should I put a new roll on now or just make the next person do it...but what if the next person is my father or brother...they definitely won't do it...so if I don't do it then I'm really leaving it for my mother...but I don't feel like doing it...but I HAVE to do it - anyway, I put the new roll on and then I almost immediately thought, 'maybe I'm being too harsh on Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton...and poor old Bruce Willis, all trying to make things good with the kids by playing 'My Two Dads' with Ashton. What do I reaaalllly know about these people?' Technically nothing, so maybe everything they do is taken out of context. Maybe Tom was just testing the cushions on Oprah's couch during a commercial break - you know, as a favor to the set P.A. or something. And maybe the media always catches Paris Hilton after she just wakes up, is a little out of it and only feels like saying, 'that's hot' over and over again. I don't know...but yeah, I'm making fun of them AGAIN... Okay but really, Tom acts kooky and Paris acts kinda ditzy, no?! I'll take back everything I said about Bruce Willis though...he seems like a guy you'd play whiffle-ball with at a BBQ, so he's alright. I think I am feeling mild remorse about being mean to celebs because I went to the Ellen Degeneres show taping yesterday. (She was in Central Park taping the season premiere.) Ellen's always so nice to celebs and all that and she'll be horrified and hate me because I was talking trash about people she knows on my site. You know, cuz she logs on every mornin'. Anyway, the taping was amazing and Ellen is God and Justin and Beyonce rock my world. (I don't know how to do accent marks on a PC...sorry, Beyonce...cuz Beyonce logs on to this site just after Ellen.) FYI - Beyonce had an all-girl band! You guys HAVE to buy her new CD, btw. V. good. (The punctuation in this entry is OUT OF CONTROL, don't think I don't realize that.) Okay, I have to go...pizza and a 2 hour car-ride to the home of Mount Airy Lodge awaits.

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august 24, 2006...
Today is my Friday here at Bloomie's. Thank God because I can't take anymore - this working thing sucks. Actually, it's not so much the work...it's more the dealing - with people and their idiotic, inefficient ways and, of course, their personality disorders. (I figured I'd mention personality disorders since I'm featuring Tommy Cruise on my page today.) Anyway, I am not claiming to be perfect, but for the most part I try to keep it so MY issues and quirks only effect MY person. I am not crazy like Tom...I'm just a little weird. Right? Crazy people don't know they are crazy. Hmmmm...but if I don't think I'm crazy, then I could be crazy. But the fact that I'm asking the question at all implies awareness, so I am off the hook, yeah? Zzzzzzzz. Back to Tom - so Paramount has dumped him and there is more and more chatter in Hollywood about how the over-the-top treatment for stars has to stop. So stop then! There are plenty of hungry, talented unknown actors out there. Go find them. Scout them out. Do I really need to see Bruce Willis in another Die Hard movie? NO! Why are the studios bowing down to this cheap notion of celebrity anyway. There are no real film icons anymore. "Celebrities" are not actors. Celebrities are people that are known for not much more than the fact that people know them. The fact that anyone cares about what Paris Hilton does completely befuddles me. Every time she opens her mouth and says something, she inspires me to join the Peace Corps or something...you know, work for GreenPeace or start a non-profit organization - just to balance the universe out. There's my Hollywood rant. And Katie Holmes, if you're listening: it's not too late...run run run...Angelina and Brad will adopt you AND Suri Hubbard, I'm sure of it.

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august 23, 2006...
Well, since I have no new pics, you'll have to settle for another image of my boys. (I know YOU'RE not disappointed, Cristin!) Speaking of the boys, they had me up until 1:30am last night watching their game vs. the Seattle Mariners and then they proceeded to lose it in the ninth. WTF? Well, I guess I can't blame the poor souls - a marathon series with their archrivals, a cross country plane ride and BAM, they are back on the field. It could be worse for them, though...they could be sitting in my cubicle writing about ebony bookcases. So last night I met the 'rents for dinner in Little Italy. I can't remember the name of the place...it was like, Amici II or something. Sal was mildly disturbed because the waiter looked Asian, but sounded Italian. Other than that, we had a pleasant dinner. Afterwards, we went to Ferraro's on Grand Street for cannolis and some potent coffee concoctions. Good times. I've told some of you this already, but I think I am going to apply to teach in the Teach For America program. I'm feeling rather restless these days and need to do something a little different. What do you guys think? Alrighty...I have to finish up November's One Day Sale catalog now or Darryl's gonna kill me. Talk to you lovely people later. Oh, and if you are reading this, Bipolar Christy, I just wanted to give you a little shout out and say thanks again for those books, I really appreciate it. It was sweet of you to think of me!

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august 21, 2006...
GO YANKEES! (Vicky, stop yawning.) My boys are kicking RED SOX ASS. I seriously had heart palpitations last night when Mariano was dealing with bases loaded and 1 frickin' out. And what's up with David Ortiz milking two bases out of that bad hop to Giambi? Damn...you gotta give it to him for pushing it. Anyway, this series has been AMAZING. BabyDaddy was CLUTCH last night. A 2-out single to bring in Melky?! Gawwwwgeous. Okay, I'll stop talking baseball - for the moment. This weekend was very pleasant. Had a lovely (yes, lovely) day on Saturday. Softball practice in Brooklyn in the early A.M., then brunch at The Hairy Monk, which, despite its Boston-loving ways, has excellent food and a 2-drink brunch special for 10.95 (we left just after Damon led the game off with a shot up the right field line). After brunch, we went to see Talladega Nights. Now, I think Will Ferrell is pretty funny, for the most part, but this movie was BOR-ING. I've already complained to Ellen and Vicky that Will is riding on his celebrity at this point and not even TRYING to make a quality comedy. The whole thing was basically Will and his friends goofing off and laughing at their own jokes. Come on, Will...don't get lazy on us! A funny thing did happen at the movies though...these two guys were behind us talking and this one dude says something along the lines of, "Yeah...like in the Jon Bennamsy case," obviously meaning the Jon-Benet Ramsey case. His friend, making fun of him, goes, "Oh...Jon Bennamsy?" Vicky and I, upon hearing this, both turn around and burst out laughing...like CRYING laughing. Now, please don't think we were making light of the case, because we absolutely were not. It was just so funny to hear the guy, who was trying to sound so knowledgable, call her Jon Bennamsy. (You probably had to be there.) Anyway, we laughed at him for a good 3 minutes. Made up for the lack of laughs after that, I suppose. So that was Saturday...didn't go out in the evening because I was exhausted, as per usual. I spent a good two hours trying to figure out what to eat because I couldn't deal with either shopping for food or ordering in. THUS, I ended up putting garlic turkey sausage on some of Melissa's seeded bread loaf and topping it with cheese, which was rather dry and probably a few days away from being thrown out. Yum. Yesterday I spent a very nice day in the suburbs of Oradell, N.J. at Carol and Mike's house for a family BBQ and the legendary Oradell Whiffleball Tournament. Mike and I came in second. We made it all the way to the finals only to be shut out 10�0 by 2 Mets fans. Tragic! I spent the rest of the time playing various ball games that had no rules with very energetic children and eating cupcakes. Needless to say, I was a happy camper. Got back late last night and, as I've said, watched BabyDaddy and co. until 1:15am. Had bizarre dreams that I cannot remember - I just know I woke up feeling suspicious of something and wanting to cut my hair (don't worry, I won't) and now I am here at Bloomie's. It's MOONNNNDAY.

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Dinner at Osteria Gelsi

august 17, 2006...
I like my new schedule. I am only trapped in a cubicle for 3 days a week. I've told some of you this before, so forgive me for repeating myself, but I think I am much more productive during a three day work week. I feel like I have less time to complete projects, so I spend less time screwing around. I am renewed by my days off, so am less disgruntled and way more positive about all of my assignments, even the ridiculously stupid ones. I think companies should do a few studies and see if this is the case across the board. I mean, this isn't Japan and we aren't the most focused bunch of folks, so a three day work week might work for many of us. I am probably generalizing and stereotyping and all of that, but I just don't think that the Asian work ethic allows for much internet surfing and bullshitting with co-workers. Do you agree? Granted, there are exceptions to ignorant generalilzations, but I'm just sayin' that we should try to optimize our work output by paying attention to our issues as a culture. Americans like vacations, we like naps, we like socializing, we like effing around on email - we are a leisure-loving nation (I could, of course, just be just talking about myself here, just bear with me). So - are YOU a candidate for the three day work week? Think about it. How many times have you thought, "I want to win the lottery so I don't have to work."? Mmmmhmmm... candidate. Anyway, take the quiz on this page and find out just how lazy you are---or aren't. Happy Thursday!

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Pocono Playas


Visiting Ethan at The Bitter End


Sal's Visit to Pianos


Gyu-Kaku!


The return of Wilson Martin


Nic and Kevin - mug shot


august 12, 2006...
Yesterday, as I was riding up to Bloominghell's, I was sandwiched in the corner between a man holding lots of luggage and a 20-something girl. The elevator was busy for a few floors and then pretty much everyone got out except for me, the man and the girl. I still had 2 floors to go. The doors shut and I waited for the necessary passenger position shift but nothing happened. The man and the girl did not move an inch and I was still blocked in the corner. They had the whole elevator and they DID. NOT. SHIFT. I found it to be most telling. If you don't shift under those circumstances, then you are either oblivous to the concept of personal space or completely self-absorbed. In any case, it says a lot about your degree of social awareness, no? ANYWAY�so things are trucking along at Bloomie�s � I�m up to my neck in One Day Sale catalog crap. I�m not complaining, per se�but I�ll just say that things are EXACTLY the same there as they were 4 months ago. Take from that what you will. Oh, but I can tell you that I am now on the payroll and NOT freelance, so now I am vulnerable to paycheck and I.D. problems...but I am not so vulnerable that I'm getting, say, health insurance. Good times. Anyway, since I last blogged a couple weeks ago, there have been softball games (one win, one loss), many 100-degree days and subsequent power issues, a trip to the Poconos with the same softball team, a visit with Timmy and a couple visits to Yankee stadium (one win, one loss). Also, I have discovered what I think might qualify as my favorite cocktail. It�s a Mexican beer with Tabasco and Worcestershire sauces and lime juice in a salt-rimmed glass. At Rosa Mexicano,it�s called a Michelada�.everywhere else, it�s called a blank look from the bartender � unless said bartender is my fabulous BFF, Paul, or the bald guy at Zarela. Vicky has decided that I enjoy this drink because it tastes like beef. And so now, just so you know, we are referring to this drink as �Beer Jerky.� Alrighty then...if it's not obvious, I have little to say. The world is in turmoil - terrorists almost succeeded in doing us in again, the Lebanon/Israel conflict continues to rage, my mother is over in Scotland visiting my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's and doesn't really recognize her... there are too many horrible things going on. I'm going to have a grilled cheese in a minute and think about the fact that right here, right now, I'm one lucky chick - I'm pretty healthy except for my sinus issues and my sore knee, it's a beautiful Saturday, I slept in and talked to one of my best friends on the phone this morning, my cat's purring on my duvet nearby and I have an endless supply of clean water and electricity available. I have nothing more to whine about, so I guess I will go take a shower or something and join the land of the living. Hope your weekends are/were lovely.

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july 31, 2006...
Good Monday to you all! Well, I'm writing this on Sunday night because tomorrow morning at 9am I will be in the office of a human resources representative. Don't be scared for me, for this is only a part time gig. Okay, be a little scared, because it's at BLOOMINGDALE'S. Yup. They called and I am going in 2-3 days a week until they hire someone full time. As some of you know, I'll also be working on Alexis & Jennifer's website, whateverradio.com. Look for it to launch soon! And so, dear friends, it seems that I have been given 2 legitimate reasons to get up, shower and get dressed before 1pm at least 2 days a week. This will be a welcome change, I think. My cat will be glad to be rid of me during the day, I'm sure. Now she can get back to destroying my desk chair in peace. Most of the pics on this page are from a dinner a few weeks back. (See how I did without ANY segue that time? And I barely feel guilty.) I never got a chance to post them, what with my softball exploits taking precedence and all. Anyway, a bunch of us went to this amazing restaurant called Gyu-Kaku, per Paul and Vicky's recommendation. It's this awesome Japanese BBQ place where you cook your own food. We had the greatest time...you all MUST try it. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to vegetarians, though. And make sure you bring someone who actually wants to pay attention to the grill so you don't burn all of your food! While I am talking up stuff, I have to mention that my good friend Barrie has a free podcast up on iTunes that she did with her friend Judy Goldberg. They are both senior editors at Parents magazine and their podcast addresses lots of interesting kid issues, including how to deal with bad eating habits, anxiety, etc. You can listen to the podcast on iTunes, just type in Parents in the search box and you'll find it. Leave the ladies a good review if you get a chance!!! Anyway, this week's been a busy one, so I'm spent. I feel like I'm 12 and tomorrow is my first day starting 8th grade or something. I have to wash my face and lay out my uniform. Oh, but before I go, I just wanna give a shout out to Melissa and Mike Martin. I met up with Melissa, who I haven't seen in about 10 years or something, and her very cool husband briefly on Saturday afternoon. Had a great time, kids...let's do it again with Pickle sometime very soon. Ok, I think I've covered everything. Except - GO YANKEES! Went to the game today with some softball buds and watched them redeem themselves against Tampa. Thank God. Oh, and did you fans hear that we acquired Bobby Abreu from the Phillies.Yeah baby...I can smell October. Happy heat wave.

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Chef Widdowson


Scott prepares his smores


My partners-in-crime


What happens in Chicago...


Last minute signage

july 24, 2006...
Hey! I'm back from Chicago. How is everyone? I've been in email withdrawal. Can you imagine - me, checking my email only ONCE in 8 days! I've finally stopped shaking. So Chicago was AWESOME. I've been there before, but it was a very different experience this time. We traversed the city from North to South and from East to West. We played softball in the ghetto and partied in Boystown. We hit the downtown beach and wandered through Navy Pier. We checked out the Frank Lloyd Wright Robie house and had happy hours in our hotel rooms. There was 'truth or dare' and disrobing - it was like being in college all over again. I'd go into more detail but what happens in Chicago.... I can tell you that the New York Swingers are bonded by more than our softball prowess. As far as the softball goes, we did ok. The thing was majorly disorganized, so it's hard to be sure, but I'm going to say we came in 12th among 32 teams. If it's better than that, someone tell me otherwise. If it's worse, then keep it to yourself. A few things are for certain, we had a helluva good time and I had a pair of fabulous roommates! Thank you, Anna and Donna, for letting me crash with you - i'm so glad that 2 more people in this world know how special my morning hair is. I'll link the Chicago pics on this page to a Kodak album later today once I download all of 'em. Right now, I am seriously going to attempt to have a productive day. You know, eating something other than Doritos, doing laundry and maybe even leaving the house. And then there's that whole job thing. Yeah...gotta get me one of those.

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july 11, 2006...
Hello, pretty people. I gave you some time to miss me again. Did it work?? I spent July 4th weekend with the family in the fabulous poconos at Big Bass Lake. Tennis was played, BBQs were had and there was, as always, beer pong. This past weekend I was up in Pennsylvania in a town called Kintnersville bonding with my softball teammates. Practiced in the hot sun and then enjoyed cool drinks and company for a great couple of days. Our hosts, Maria and Marisa, have an amazing spread that overlooks rolling fields and hills and everything Pennsylvania markets itself to be. Good stuff. I went with Ellen and my bro to a late showing of Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest on Sunday night, along with half of the country, it seems, from the movie's $132 million opening weekend. (Script is way lame, FYI. 1st movie was 100% better but the action sequences were excellent.) After the movie, I accompanied my brother to Murray Hill's cheesiest bar, Whiskey River, where we proceeded to close down the joint at about 4am after countless games of, yep, beer pong. Jesus, how old am I? Was utterly exhausted yesterday evening when I headed to softball practice and then returned to the city for another 'farewell to Tim' gathering (he is shuttling back and forth between the US and Ireland these days). I made it home relatively early and pretty much just crashed. So here I am now, alive and awake and not in too much pain. I am still unemployed and the government has informed me that I may be ineligible for unemployment (long, boring story), so I've been working on getting my body and mind in gear to reenter the rat race. I've dusted off the resume and sent it to the dark recesses of a few HR departments, but I don't expect anything to happen because I just don't seem to procure jobs in a legitimate fashion...EVER. Maybe I'll just stand on the corner with my "Will work for cheese" sign. I think I still have that thing lying around here. I'm going to Chicago next week with my softball girls to live it up, so that'll be fun. We'll be playing a million games so I am sure I will be beat down and totally spent by Sunday, but I'll be damn happy. Maybe I'll make some job contacts there...one can hope. Tonight I'm having dinner with the parents at Smith and Wollensky to celebrate my bday, my dad's bday and my parents anniversary, which fall on consecutive days. So there you have it. That's my update. Other updates: Cecelia Grace Rosencrance is getting her smile on and Vicky got her apartment back - does anyone know where she can rent a carpet steamer!?

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Zum it up!


The Leapin' Leos, pre-match


Just some gigolos


Dana and Seth are parents!


The face of an angel


Quinn, pre-dunking booth

june 30, 2006...
That last entry was a long one...bet you're tired of looking at it. Well, since the last time we spoke nothing too eventful has happened, but I figured I'd check in, as I won't be around for a few days. Wrenched my back at softball practice on Monday, so was out of commission most of Tuesday. I don't know how people who have chronic back pain deal with it... wow. I had a few painkillers on hand from when my tooth was pulled about 4 years ago and the pain actually drove me to bust a couple of those suckers out. Anyway, the back is still sore, but it's manageable now. My bro and I went to the Yankee game on Wednesday...got seats from some scalper that were pretty damn good - left field just right of the foul post in a handicapped box (don't worry, we didn't take any poor handicapped person's seat...at least I don't think we did), so we had our own little folding chairs and all the leg room in the world. The Yanks were only able to tie it before we had to leave because I had to go to Brooklyn for softball practice. Being that my coach is a rabid Mets fan, I didn't think she'd take too kindly to me being late for Yankee-related reasons. I was correct in my assumption, FYI. Anyway, A-Rod eventually came through with a home run and I'm happy he saved the day. The poor dude's been getting so much crap lately. I mean, I guess it's because you should produce if you make a bazillion dollars a year, but the guy's only human, people...lay off. Of course, maybe for each game that players don't play well, they should give some money to the fans... you know, pass a hat around or something. Yeaaaah...that. Ugh...I can't breathe...I have some sort of head cold. Or maybe it's allergies. But I never have allergies. How do you know the difference? What else? Last night I watched Something New with Elron. It's about an uptight black accountant who falls for her bohemian white landscape architect. I liked the leads, but the movie was very choppy and the script was garbage. Wait until it's on the free On Demand channels to watch it, if you haven't already. So what is everyone doing for the holiday weekend? The unprecedented is occurring in LeoLand: Sal is closing the pizza store for THREE WHOLE DAYS. There will be people in Little Neck thinking that armageddon has arrived, fo sho. I'm leaving with Brian tomorrow morning for our Pocono place and the 'rents will follow on Sunday. It looks like the sun will be out and hopefully the flood waters will have receded in NJ and PA - poor soggy souls dealing with a lot of crap out there. It should be an interesting few days. I hope you all have a great time, whatever you do. I'll catch up with you when I get back.

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june 26, 2006...
Good morning, it's your friend, SLACKER-ASS. Please refer to me as such from now on. I CAN update a website when I have a full-time job, but apparently, I CANNOT stop sitting around watching dust gather for long enough to type a paragraph or 10...or 13 (how many days has it been??) while unemployed. A few things have happened since I last typed. I won't remember anything in proper order, except for maybe what happened this weekend, so bear with me. (IS IT BARE OR BEAR?!? Someone tell me for once and for all. I don't feel like looking it up right this second...see, I told you - SLACKER-ASS.) ANYWAY, let's see...Vicky, BFF and I joined Jenny, Steph, Mace and some other kind souls for an evening of music in Prospect Park a couple of weeks ago. Maceo Parker was playing, and if you haven't figured it out by now, Maceo Crump is named after Mr. Parker. It was a stellar evening under the stars, complete with a surprise appearance by PRINCE. Can you even? Later in the week - softball and games with Ellen, Sally and Cleo in Pelham. (Oh, and fyi, Ellen was psyched that we saw Topher Grace buying a ticket for Metro North - CELEBS, THEY'RE JUST LIKE US - THEY BUY TRAIN TICKETS - but she wasn't able to enjoy her sighting because she was in a smackdown with her ticket agent. I'm still not sure who won. Topher was looking rather snazzy with blonde highlights, I must say.) Holy aside...you guys following? Ok, still talking about Pelham...SO...after a delicious dinner and a Sound Of Music sing-a-long or three, it was back to NYC for Ellen and me. This entry is gonna be long...maybe I should use PARAGRAPHS...OR AM I TOO LAZY FOR THAT?

NO! Fight the power. I spent the next day in Little Neck for Father's Day. Hung out in the pizza store for most of the day and noshed on steak with the 'rents at ONE IN THE MORNING because Sal and Angie were too polite to tell the visiting neighbors that we hadn't eaten dinner yet. Oh well...the steak was still fabulous, even at that hour, and I do believe that Sal was a happy father - at least for the day, so we did our job.

Last Wednesday my Titans softball team took on Crescendo in Prospect Park and we ROCKED the house. Donna pitched like Mariano, we won 4-2 and I even scored myself a nice war wound tagging out some girl at third. (Yes - I GOT TO PLAY 2ND AND THIRD (at different times, Ellen.)) The hand is healing up real good and shit, in case you were wondering...or weren't, bastards - not YOU...you. That's right, you.

Now, onto the babies. FIRST OF ALL - Dana had Cecelia via C-section on Monday, June 19th. I suspect they're singing the no-sleep blues right now but I'll try to get an update sometime soon! (Dana, what will I do without you on email all the time!?!?) What I DO know is this: the kid and Dana are doing well and Seth is looking like a hot dad in the pic below - look OUT Nick Lachey...seriously. And Dana, that pic is just gorgeous - you took it, no?

Wow, this entry is sounding dangerously like one of those unsolicited newsletters that acquaintances or distant family members send out. Maybe if I add more expletives, it will make it less hokey. Yeah...and maybe Ben Affleck will grow a brain.

Ok...not done with the babies yet. (These segues just keep getting better and better.) This past Saturday, I headed out to Oradell, NJ to Mike and EarthMother Carol's house (she looked all hippie and preggers when I saw her) to bum a ride to Quinn's christening. We hung out and watched every movie EVER, EarthMother treated me to a pedicure, we ordered Chinese food and then went to a North Bergen biker bar to listen to Carol's cousin and friend's band. We left deaf but happy and headed to Philly 5 hours later for the event. We endured an already bitter, just-ordained priest's account of everything he did this past month (EVERYTHING) and then watched Quinn get dunked into the water. The reception was fun and it was great to see the always entertaining and hilarious Shields family (oh and the food was excellent, Kate, just so you know). FYI - there were one meeeeeeeeelllllion kids there. Yeah, I am exaggerating a tiny bit, but the kids definitely outnumbered the adults 42:1. WARNING: It's only a matter of time before they realize this and take control...all they need is a ringleader and I know it's gonna be Annie "El Ni�o" Shields, for sure. INSERT YOUR OWN DAMN SEGUE HERE. Was back in the city last night, updated this thing and that's the story. Riveted? I'll stop now before I start talking trash like that priest. Too late...I know. WHATEVER. Amen.

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A boy and his dad


A hippo and his boy


The conqueror himself

june 13, 2006...
Good Tuesday to you all. Sorry I did not regale you with tales of my weekend yesterday. I was ever so busy having ONE thing to do. I finally went to the doctor for my yearly physical and so I could get the prescription for my cholesterol meds. Si, amigos, I have high cholesterol. Many of you know this. It's genetic, alright, so layoff the 'stay away from cheeeeeeese' talk. Cheese will always be in my life. I want to be buried with a hunk of Gruy�re. So there. Anyway, yes...that's the thing I did yesterday that prevented me from doing ANYTHING ELSE. Oh, but I sort of organized my closet and got rid of a few things that I was keeping 'just in case'... ie. these jeans I have that I was holding on to 'in case I ever painted again and needed something junky to wear' and these ugly pale blue bellbottom jeans with an 8 inch fly 'in case I ever go to a 70s party.' What?! I am such a loser. ANYWAY, my weekend was most eventful. Had a nice dinner with the softball girls in Brooklyn on Friday and then went to see The Break-Up with Ellen. It was kind of an uneven movie but basically ok. Jen and Vince made the most out of their characters but I think the story was kind of depressing and almost TOO TRUE to life, if that's possible. Lighthearted romantic comedies shouldn't be dark, right? Maybe that was the problem I had with it...it was neither indie nor mainstream...my subconscious mind couldn't make sense of it. Saturday morning, I got up at the crack of dawn to watch England beat Paraguay at this sports bar in the West Village. You see, my good friend Anna is English and Saturday was her birthday, so beers at 9am were called for. I walked home, ate half of a 12-inch meatball sandwich from Subway, or, Subway Restaurants, as Vicky says Jared calls them, enjoyed a 4 HOUR NAP (is it really a nap if it's four frickin' hours long?) and then ate the other half of the sandwich before heading back to Brooklyn to celebrate Anna's birthday FOR REAL. Finally got to bed around 3:30am and then headed BACK to Brooklyn for softball practice at 9:15am. Finished about 1pm and headed directly to Riverside Park to celebrate Will Drummy's 1st birthday!!! Bill and Will looked dashing in their Hawaiian tourist garb and Ms. Barrie was in full hostest-with-the-mostest mode. Among other people, I met a truckload of really cool kids, some of whom you'll see in the pictures here, and a wonderful woman named Dot. Trekked home and took ANOTHER nap before gorging on bacon and eggs (a great meal to have before having your cholesterol tested) and took in a bit of the Tony Awards (a bizarre TV choice for me...don't ask). Then - back to bed. I think I've got this sleeping thing DOWN, FYI. What else? Well, the US World Cup team got its ass kicked yesterday by the Czech Republic. So sad...hopefully they'll beat Italy. Angelina and Brad are back in the states - joy. Did I tell you all that celebrities have been infiltrating my dreams as of late? It's pathetic. I try to steer clear of celebrity gossip but it finds me no matter what. In my dream, a nine-year-old kid with a black mohawk (Maddox?) was explaining to me that the guest room in their house in Namibia did not have a mosquito net and so the bugs would be crawling around me as I slept. I wasn't happy about it. In a more disturbing dream, Tom Cruise committed suicide. Horrible, no? Only I didn't see Tom in the dream... everytime someone referred to his suicide, an image popped up of a burnt piece of pizza on a paper plate sitting on the blacktop roof of a city apartment building. If you can analyze that dream for me, I'll buy you a drink. In other news, Ellen just informed me that the guy who lives upstairs from us dropped his glasses in the toilet. She knows this because we can HEAR EVERYTHING that goes on up there in that bathroom. It's tragic. I mean, we know more about this dude's gastrointestinal difficulties than he probably does, what with the pipe echo and all. Gross...I'm grossing myself out. On that note, I will depart. Enjoy the day.

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june 9, 2006...
Hey, people with jobs - IT'S FRIDAY!!!! Yeah! O.M.G. I have to confess - I spent THE. ENTIRE. DAY. in front of this computer screen. What did I do? Not much. I basically resized photos, downloaded them and played on MySpace all day. I created a MySpace page for Sal's Pizza and added a slideshow to my MySpace page, which I've tacked on to this site, since the majority of you aren't on MySpace. (Stop acting your age, would ya?) So, yeah... I've been sitting here for...ohhhh...about 15 hours, give or take a few bathroom breaks, an attempt at making a softboiled egg (not completely disastrous) and various trips to the pantry in search of something to snack on (relatively unsuccessful). My near-death state has improved to walking-wounded, and I think I'll be okay to play softball later on today - pray for no rain. I'm listening to what sounds like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants coming from the other room and thinking this: What did they call that movie when it was released in the U.K.? (If you don't know this already, the word pants refers to underwear in the U.K.) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Underwear. Hmmmm. Anyway, bowing to the gods of sense and logic, United States Tennis Association is finally going to use instant replay at this summer's U.S. Open. Well, it's about bloody time. If ANY damn sport should be using instant replay, it's tennis. I wonder what Mr. McEnroe will have to say about this. I don't know whether going to 'the tape' would have proven his obnoxious ass right or wrong back in the day. In other news, J.K. Rowling was voted Britain's greatest writer. Hmmm. I am inclined to disagree. I mean, the Harry Potter stuff was fun, but come on - greatest writer? And besides, I think the first book did the job...the sequels, yawn. But what do I know? I'm blogging for an average of 17 people a day. Ms. Rowling has reached millions. But do her fans know how whether she can cook a soft-boiled egg and what she's done with her day? I think NOT. I am much more in touch with my public. I wouldn't trade that for all of Britain's best writer accolades! Yeeeeeeah. Okay, I am babbling like a freak. I'll leave you to your weekends. Oh, FYI - DANA MIGHT OFFICIALLY BE A MOM COME MONDAY!

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Vic & Sandy "Sledgehammer" Chapin


DMC Hearts Sarah McLachlan


Vic and babyfriend


Concentrating on rabbits

june 7, 2006...
Good morning, lovelies! I'm writing this Wed. at 1:35am. I've taken my NyQuil and am waiting for it to kick in. I am still sick, but my insurance crap has finally been sorted out and I will finally see the doctor tomorrow. Thank God. I was able to leave the house for a few hours on Monday night to attend the World Hunger Year (WHY) annual dinner. It was, as it usually is, a very interesting time. WHY'S very own Sandy Chapin was an honoree, as was DMC of RUN-DMC fame, who treated us with his hip-hop cover of Harry and Sandy Chapin's hit song, "The Cat's in the Cradle." DMC also did a rendition of "Walk this Way", which prompted the sea of conservatively-dressed folks to get up and get their grooves, and in some cases, their overbites, on. Good times. Today I set up a MySpace page for Ellen...I'm determined to drag her into the 21st century. Check it out if you get a chance. You'll also notice that Miss Ellie is a contributor in the current issue of Brides magazine. More details below. Dana - are you out there? What did the doc say? When is the baby coming!? Oooh, did anyone watch the Yankee game last night vs. the Red Sox? Melky Cabrera made this insane catch to prevent the Sox from tying the Yanks in the 8th inning. Holy random digression...still with me? I think that's my cue...the NyQuil is starting to work its magic. Vicky and BFF are journeying to England tomorrow night - Bon Voyage, my loves, though I'm sure I'll speak to you before you leave. Starting to see double now, so I will depart. Have a wonderful Wednesday.

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